Olive Juice
by infynitistars
Summary: The new Head Boy and Girl, Random Halid and Jyllian Lamm, have their opinions on everything. Especially each other.Random is the all powerful sex god of Hogwarts while Jyllian is a shy at least out loud, boyhating brunette bombshell. How will they cope?
1. Introductions

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Harry Potter. We're only... borrowing it. So, yeah, we have to give credit to J.K. Rowling - the awesomest woman ever. We also have to give credit to Miss Congeniality 2... I don't really remember why, but Brittany told me to. So... yeah, something in this story belongs to Miss Congeniality 2. We also have to give credit to ourselves. After all, we created these wonderful characters. Lol. Brittany, or Britain as she is sometimes called, came up with the idea to do something like this, so extra-credit to her. Let's see... oh yeah, the title: Olive Juice is something I got from a movie or a book or something. It doesn't have any significance as of now, but it will in the future.

**Authors' Notes:** Wooo! I'm Liz, and my partner is Brittany. Ok, partner makes her sound... I don't know. We wrote this together. We created the characters, Random and Jyllian, and we each portray one of them. However, I'm not allowed to tell you who. When ever you see "---:name:---" it means that it's changing the POV of the character. For example, if you saw, ---:Random:---, that would mean that that segment is from Random's eyes. It's pretty obvious, though. Well, have fun reading! Reviews are always nice as well...

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**Olive Juice**

Chapter One: _Introductions_

---:Random:---

Ah, another year at Hogwarts about to start. I can the smell the new blood the innocent little first years. I almost feel badly for them. Then I realize that I don't really care. They have me as their fabulous Head Boy, so they should be fine, with such a wonderful person to look at anytime them want. Me, Random Halid, Head Boy. It has a nice ring… I wonder who the Head Girl will be. I hope it's that hot Ravenclaw chick.

"Hey, Halid, how did things go with Nikki over the summer?" my friend Kemp asked me, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I shook my head, ignoring his question. Kemp knew I had broken up with Nikki during the summer because I just couldn't stand how clingy she was. My other friend, Zeke, was laughing as Kemp smirked at me. Kemp Toal and Ezekiel (Zeke) Garnier (Yes, like the shampoo) have been my two best friends since we were kids. All of us grew up rich, smart, and extremely good looking. Zeke's entire family is French, but they live in England because of Mr. Garnier's occupation. Ever since we were little Kemp has called Zeke Pierre because he is French. Zeke stopped caring a long time ago.

The compartment door opened and several more people (all girls) came into our compartment. I recognized all of them, but didn't care to talk to them because they all just wanted me to ask them out. The trouble with being so good looking, and rich. Oh well, I can just pretend that they don't exist.

"Well, I have to report to the Head's compartment to debrief the new Prefects. See you all later!" I got up from my seat when Kemp spoke.

"I always thought you were more of a boxers man, Ran. That's on yourself, too. I wasn't aware that you liked to debrief others," He smirked, knowing full well that I was completely straight. I just smiled and left the compartment, hearing Kemp work the concerned ladies, by telling them that I was actually straight, he was just joking. They began giggling. I hate it when a group of girls giggle. It is so annoying, it seems like all they ever do is giggle!

I arrive at the Head's compartment and open the door, no else is there yet. I take a seat and wait for my fellow Head and the fickle Prefects. I think the letter said something about meeting my fellow Head before starting the meeting with the Prefects…Something about Dumbledore doing the introducing if we didn't already know each other…

---:Jyllian:---

Hogwarts again. I was returning for my seventh and final year. It's time to buckle down ace my N.E.W.T.s. I walked around Platform 9 ¾ looking for Arielle or Court. I don't know how I would get through my years at Hogwarts without them. I met Arielle in first year, right before the sorting ceremony. We were both equally nervous and grateful that we were both placed in Gryffindor. Court came along in third year. I ran into her at Honeyduke's one Hogsmeade weekend. I spotted a strawberry blonde head and quickly made my way towards it.

"Arielle!" I said rather loud for my normal tone of voice which was usually just above a whisper. We hugged and made our way onto the Hogwarts Express. Court joined us not long after carrying her toad, which she had ironically named Frog. We said our "Hello's" and "How are you?'s" and started to get comfortable.

"Oh, Jyllian! Congratulations on Head Girl!" Arielle said to me, seeing the badge placed on my robes.

"Than- Oh my gosh! I have to get going! There's a meeting in the Head's compartment! See you guys later!" I said hurriedly as I rushed down the aisle toward the front of the train. This was definitely not a good first impression as Head Girl. I tried to walk undetected, but soon I ran into a group of boys that were crowding the aisle way.

"Excuse me," I said to them. "You're blocking my way."

The boys, who seemed to be sixth year Ravenclaws just looked at each other strangely. "Oh, sorry, Doll. Whatever can we do to make it up to you?" one of them asked.

"I'm Head Girl, and I can easily take points away from your house if you keep up this behavior. Now, please, move aside," I said as sternly as I could.

"Yes, my queen," the boy replied as he stepped into one of the side compartments with a slight bow.

Ugh. I hate boys. What is the purpose in the world, anyway? Oh well… nothing I can do about it now, I guess. I made my way to the Head Compartment. When I arrived, I peered inside and saw another Gryffindor boy sitting there looking bored. My eyes drifted to the Head Boy badge on his chest. Oh great. It never occurred to me that being Head Girl would mean closely interacting with the Head Boy. I sighed and took my seat opposite him, not saying a word.

---:Random:---

My eyes slid to the door as it opened. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This girl was totally hot. How had I missed someone like that? She had dark brown and grey eyes. Wow, eyes...I mean...wow. She sat down across from me. Her eyes darted around the room. I WAS BEING IGNORED! People don't just IGNORE me. I am me. I smiled, trying to be the bigger person in my state of apparent non-existence.

"You the new Head Girl, then?" I asked, pointing to the pin button on her robes. I smiled to myself realizing where her pin was located. Stop it man, get your head out of the GUTTER! This is your fellow Head. I snapped out of it and looked at the girl in front of me. She was just staring at me stonily. I smiled to cover up my concern. I ruled the female population with my mad dating and snogging skills. I didn't just get snubbed by some chick. They all wanted me, it was just a fact of life. There is nothing that anyone can do about it. I am hot, you can't blame me for be what I am and flaunting what I know I have...Females just fell at my feet and mercy. Not that I minded...Anyways, girls died when I was around, they weren't supposed to act like they would die to get away from me. "Oooh, that look is making it cold in here. Are you the new Head Girl or not?"

---:Jyllian:---

This boy was already getting on my nerves. Are you the new Head Girl? What kind of question is that? OF COURSE I'm the new Head Girl, you moron! See the badge? See me sitting in the Head compartment? How thick could you get?

"Yeah," was all I said. His reaction was quite funny. I had been watching him while he was asking these questions. It was like he was expecting me to suddenly go wild and start snogging the living daylights out of him. I laughed at the thought. He shot me a confused look, but continued to concentrate on whatever he was concentrating on… you never know with boys. Their heads are like completely different universes! Just because I could, I decided to ask him the same absurd question. "Are you the Head Boy?" He seemed surprised that I had actually asked him a question. If I were him, I would have been surprised as well. I don't associate with people that I don't know very often. This was like a treat. For him. Not me.

---:Random:---

I smiled. The formless rock (okay, not so formless) had spoken. Maybe she wasn't a rock after all... She just asked if I'm the Head Boy. What does she think? I'm the entertainment? Of course not. They would only let someone as good looking as me BE Head Boy. Crazy, (hot) mental chick. I gave her my best smile.

"Yup, I'm the new Head Boy. See the pin?" I pointed. She just looked unimpressed, but I smiled at her anyways. I wonder how long it would take me to get this girl to go out with me...I should try that. Oh, new challenge for the dating MACHINE! How fun would it be to try and date a girl who obviously hates your guts. She has to know who I am, though, because we are in the same house. I see that Gryffindor patch. "So what's your name?"

She just looked at me for a few seconds before replying cuttingly, "Jyllian Lamm." Lamb? Like the animal? I'll have to ask. That's kinda funny. Maybe they are descended from crazy Lamb-people. No bad Random. That's not nice. BUT SO FUNNY!

"That's a nice name. Is it like the animal, or is it different?" I asked innocently, making my eyes larger.

---:Jyllian:---

I glared at him. This guy had some nerve. First, annoy me until I talk to him, ask stupid question, and then insult my name? Ugh! This year is not going to be as good as I thought.

"It's pronounced like the animal, yes, but it's spelled differently, if you _must_ know," I replied. I don't know why I even said anything. I suppose I thought that if I go along with whatever he's playing at, he'll leave me alone. That's all I want from him. Then, I can just go back to the girls' dorms in the Gryf- oh crap. I had completely forgotten about the Head's common room. Oh no. No, no, no… Now, I won't have to put up with him just at Head's meetings, but ALL THE TIME. I'll have sleep knowing he's just across the hall. I'll have to share a bathroom with him! This is going to be the year from hell. I might as well try and be civil. "And you are?" I asked.

He got this smug look on his face and replied with, "Random Halid. Gryffindor." He held his hand out as if I was actually supposed to make contact with him. What kind of name is Random, anyway? I just kind of gave his hand a dirty look and crossed my arms across my chest. Maybe I was just being really touchy today, but everything he did seemed to just annoy the crap out of me. Even if he made a slight glance in my direction, I felt like ripping his eyeballs out. I sighed and reluctantly took his hand.

"Nice to meet you, I suppose."

---:Random:---

"Nice to meet you, too."I smiled at her, trying to keep up the nice-guy act. As soon as she had shaken my hand she let go of it like it was a disease or something. I happen to know that my hands are _not_ disease infested. Mainly because I have this thing were I was them when I use the restroom and before and after meals. I also shower every morning. I'm not afraid of germs, but I don't mind being clean. Anyways, I don't know what else to say. Maybe I should ask her about her summer. That's always a good topic. Not too deep, nothing bad I have to try and be nice about. Everyone always just says, "fine" or "good" anyways.

"How was your summer?" I smiled, charmingly. I know what I'm doing right here could get me every girl in school in a broom closet ready to do anything I wanted. Except maybe this one...

---:Jyllian:---

Ok, I'll give him credit for this one. It's not an absurd question. It's a reasonable question, I suppose. For example, I would have no trouble asking this question to Arielle or Court. But, I ask, why does he care? He hardly even knows me, and I don't know about him, but I'm not too keen on becoming best friends with this… this… thing! Ok, I get this whole 'Let's be civil because we're going to be interacting with each other this year' thing we've both got going on, so I'll play along. But I'm not doing anything more than that.

I shrugged. "It was alright, I suppose. My brother finally got his Apparating License. All I heard all day was 'Pop'. It got quite annoying after awhile, but other than that, I had a fairly delightful time." Ha ha, this was so not me. Using words like "quite" and "delightful" – Maybe if I repel him with my advanced language skills, he'll discover that I'm much too smart for him and leave me alone. Hey, it's worth a shot. "How was yours?" I asked, once again trying to be polite.

---:Random:---

I laughed at her telling of how her brother can now Apparate, but oh. my. god. This is perfect. This girl is smart. I love smart girls. They know what they are doing AND they can help you with your homework. I leaned back in my chair and looked at the ceiling of the compartment.

"Well nothing terribly exciting happened to me either. My family went to France with all of my friends families. That was awesome. We had a great time. They said there were hot girls in France, but I think there are better ones here in England," as I finished I looked at her and cocked my eyebrow. I closed my eyes and turned my head back up the ceiling. That was _really_ subtle Halid. NOT. I don't know that she got it though. This Jyllian Lamm girl seems kind of oblivious. Maybe it's because she is so busy with glaring at me that she can't focus on much else. I mean it _does_ involve me, so I can totally see how she would get caught up. Still though, I know she is intelligent, so her brain has to be bigger than that. "Anyways, my mom threw a lot of parties because my older sister is getting married to a famous musician. He's in a band called Evolution Explosion. They have become big in Muggle and Magical worlds. They are wizards though. I really hate big parties because I'm expected to know every one of the guests, you know?" Did you all see that? It was my attempt at getting her in the conversation. I think I am being a very good gentleman right now.

---:Jyllian:---

I have to admit, his family sounds interesting. It's not everyday you meet someone who's older sister is getting married to a rock star. Did he think that I didn't know who Evolution Explosion was? My goodness, this boy was thick. I might be impressed… if I cared. But at the moment I don't. I shot him a weird face and looked at him up and down. He was a typical boy. Full of himself and his appearance. He was extremely tall, at least six foot four inches, and had short hair in a deep shade of brown with hazel eyes to match. If he wasn't horribly arrogant, he might be attractive. Looks like he missed that train!

His summer didn't particularly interest me. I was just asking because it was the right thing to do. I was expecting the typical male response of "Fine" – maybe my advanced vocabulary made him think he had to impress me by giving me this detailed description of his summer, when I really don't care. I shrugged and looked out the window.

He cleared his throat as if he was trying to get my attention. I leaned forward to get a better look into his eyes. They were dark blue around the edges with green specs near the middle. I smiled. He had nice eyes. But maybe staring into them wasn't such a good idea…

---:Random:---

I grinned, leaning in too. I caught her. She was totally staring at me. My eyes to be exact. I happened to know that my eyes are the most brilliant shade of...hazel…l I know that's not really a shade, but allow me to explain. My eyes are combination of my parents. Dark blue on the outside (like my dad's) with flecks of green in the middle (like my mom's). My parents make a smashing couple. Both are tremendously good looking. They are funny, too. By the way, what do good looking parents make? Good looking offspring. Which is exactly what they have.

"So when are we going to have our Prefects meeting?"

---:Jyllian:---

As soon as he leaned in, I realized that it definitely wasn't a good idea. He probably thinks I'm in love with him now. Great. No, I just wanted to inspect his unusual eyes. Is there something wrong with that? Then he brings up the Prefects. I was just going to bring them up myself. Where were the little mutants? Why weren't there here, yet? Surely, it had been at least an hour. An hour of agonizing pain – stuck alone in a compartment with this little, well, okay, he wasn't _little_ in the sense that he was almost a foot taller than me, but I bet his brain is little! Surely we're nearly there. I don't think I can stand it much longer.

"They should be here any moment now, don't you think?" I replied. I glanced expectantly toward the door. I hoped to see a bunch of fifth and sixth years standing there waiting to be let in. As soon as the Head Boy and I finished up our "business". I had no luck, however. The doorway was empty and deserted. Nobody dared to wander to the front of the train. Where are those dang Prefects? If they're going to have that position, they need not to abuse it and be on time! "So, Random," I started, trying to make conversation. I suppose he wasn't that bad. I just didn't want him to show up everywhere I went. A simple conversation couldn't hurt that, could it? "You weren't a Prefect last year. Wasn't Ezekiel Garnier the male Gryffindor prefect?" she asked, growing anxious.

---:Random:---

She just HAD to be bring that one up! Good thing for me Zeke-y boy doesn't care. He's glad to be rid of the patrols. I've never done them before and would have greatly enjoyed just cruisin' through Hogwarts without any of that patrolling business. I'm a growing boy and I need my sleep. Zekiel would have made a much better Head Boy. He's the least player-ish and he actually follows the rules. Law abiding Zeke-y. Gotta love 'im. I notice however that I like the way she says my name. Random. I have a very unusual name and the way she says it...let's just keep it PG and suffice to say I like it, okay?

"Oh, yeah, Zeke was the Prefect. I don't know why I'm Head Boy. He probably would have made a better Head Boy. He is the...how do I put this...grounded," yes, good job Ranny, my boy. I smirked at the girl in front of me. She will never expect the question I am preparing to ask. Let's see her weasel her way out of this one. Cunning little thing she is if she can get out of this one gracefully. She does seem like she would be graceful though. She has long legs. Legs... BAD RANDOM! Don't think like that. Oh, I just remembered. Hehehe. We have to share the Heads Commons. This will be fun. Again I shook myself out of it and met her eyes, "Would you have prefered Ezekiel?"

---:Jyllian:---

"Would I have preferred Ezekiel?" I asked. Oh, crap. That wasn't supposed to be out loud! Oh, nice going, Jyll. Now he's gonna think you're a freak! But, wait… I don't care. I don't care what he thinks of me. He's an idiot, remember? He turned the tables on you! He's a git. He needs to die. Yes, that's it.

"Yes, that's what I said: would you have preferred Ezekiel?" he repeated slower, as if I didn't hear him correctly the first time. I glared inwardly at him.

"Well, I don't know. I don't exactly know much about you. Sure, Ezekiel was a nice boy. He was polite, intelligent, and witty at times… but then again, the only things I know about you are that your name is Random Halid, you're in Gryffindor, and your sister is marrying a rock star," I replied matter-of-factly. I think I handled that one pretty well. I shrugged to myself. I hope he bought it because the truth is: I would have chosen Ezekiel over him any day. Ezekiel didn't ask stupid questions, and he helped me out with homework once in a while. Judging from this guy, the only subject he could help me with was possibly lunch, but he was so thin, I doubt he even excelled in that.

---:Random:---

Okay, this chick totally digs Zeke. I'll have to tell him he has an admirer. No, I can't do that. This girl is supposed to fall in love with ME! Not my best friend. This girl does actually have a brain. I can't just have my way with her. If I do get her to fall for me, it will take commitment... I ask myself. Can I do that? I looked up at her. Her grey eyes glared back in what I'm assuming is repulsion. To tell the truth...I think this is hurt. It…hurts that she is so hostile. Maybe it's because I'm used to getting exactly what I want when it comes to girls... That's probably what it is, but still I think I'm jealous that she might like my best friend. There is not telling that she actually does, but I don't want her to.

I will make this girl mine.

Okay, I'm done being weird and depressing now. I don't like that kind of thinking. It isn't fun. I like my perversion. It makes life more interesting. I guess if I want to make Jyllian mine I've got to be... less arrogant... Man, that will be hard. I mean, look at me. I'm gorgeous! I am an awesome kisser too, how could she not already be screaming, "TAKE ME!"? I just don't understand... I guess I will just have to be nicer and talk to her. I hear talking outside the door.

"Well, I think our little Prefects have arrived."

---:Jyllian:---

Thank God! Took them long enough. As much as I utterly enjoy talking to this wonderful young gentleman (NOT), they better get their butts in here, so we can start. I sighed a sigh of relief.

"Come on in," I said to the students outside. They started flooding in like mice to cheese. I'm guessing they wanted the meeting to be over with as well. I glanced over at Random, and he seemed to be in deep thought. Pfft! Deep thought. I'll give you one guess as to what he's thinking about? Typical boy things, I suppose… but why do I care what he's thinking about? No! I care about the Prefects. The Prefects need to be told what to do. I've been through this before. I took a deep breath and started telling the new Prefects about their duties. Every so often, I stole a glance at Random. Who was just sitting there. Staring into space. He seemed to do that a lot.

"Do you have anything you'd like to add, Random?" I asked. I saw him shake his head in return, so I turned back to the students. "Well, if you have any questions, I'm the Head Girl, Jyllian Lamm, and Random Halid is the Head Boy. We're both Gryffindors. Thank you, and have a good day." I wouldn't be surprised if I was more eager to get out of that compartment than they were, but I let them go before me. Some of them weren't moving. They were sitting where my previous seat had been. There were people on either side of my co-Head, and when I turned to find a place to sit, the small mousy blonde boy that was seated on his right side, scooted over a bit to make room for me between him and Random. What was he trying to do? Little idiot. I've got my eye on you. I looked around nervously before sitting down next to the brunette boy with the Head Boy badge on his chest. As I sat down, my right leg brushed against his, but I ignored it. He, however, turned his head immediately to face me.

---:Random:---

Oh yay, I don't have to do anything. Wow, that painting over there is very strange and kind of kinky...I wonder who would put that in a place with children around... Horny Bastard. Oh wait, that's you, you idiot. So? I enjoy myself. Wait, Jyllian just asked me a question. If I had anything to add. I don't. I just shake my head. Why is that kid scooting over? Everyone in this world seems to think that I smell or something. I AM NOT INFECTED! Oh, he's making room for Lamm. Her leg just brushed mine. I look at her, completely shocked. I'm not going into small school boy mode or anything, but...

She just touched me...That sounds worse than it is. Her leg just touched mine. Maybe she doesn't like Zeke...You wish, Random. I should brush my arm against hers, just to see what happens. Maybe that electric feeling was just a fluke. Oh god...I don't think things like this about girls. Girls think things like this about me. I am the Dream Guy, the one everyone wants. I don't do the wanting. Oh well, it must be my nerves about being Head Boy because we all know how unsuitable I am for THAT job. I don't like to follow rules, and now I am expected to enforce them and guide other little rule mongers? This should be fun... Ugh.

I lean back in my chair and move my arms back so just my elbows are resting on the back of the couch. I made sure my arm brushed my co-Head's the electric feeling came back. Hmm...That's odd. I let my hand rest against her arm. She seems uncomfortable...

---:Jyllian:---

He's doing this on purpose. He's torturing me like this just to see me squirm. I bet he planned it all out with this evil little things they call Prefects. The standards sure have lowered over the last two years. When I was a fifth year, I had to work my butt off to get this position. Now, they're practically letting anybody in – like that little blonde kid who I now hate. I mean, WHY would he scoot over? I could just have easily sat on the other side of him, and… why am I making such a big deal out of this? His arm is still resting against mine. I don't think there's really any point to it being there, either. It feels like my arm is about to go numb. That's a weird feeling. It must not be getting enough circulation. I'll move it later.

Now these kids are needing to leave. They're just sitting there. I suppose I can't say anything, considering that's what I'm doing as well, but I can't talk comfortably until I'm sitting on the other bench, but I can't because the Prefects are there! I thought about yelling something like, 'Get out! Now!' but that might give them the wrong impression of me. I smiled to myself. I looked over at Random. He looked a little confused. I wonder why… wait, no I don't! Hey, Random is an interesting name… it's kind of strange, but it's interesting, no doubt… Random… it just rolls off the tongue doesn't it? It's a lovely name… What! No, what am I saying? It's not "lovely" at all. It's weird. It's outcast-ish. It's a stupid name. I took another deep breath. It's a name that shouldn't belong to someone like him.

Just then, the compartment door opened to reveal Court and Ezekiel. They were looking impatient.

"What's wrong with this cabin? Are you dead? Where have you been, Jyll?" Court asked as her normal loud-toned, fast-talking self. Why didn't I think of just leaving? I could have easily just gotten up and left, but I sat down. Next to Random. …There's something wrong with me.

---:Random:---

When the door opened and some loud chick started talking I didn't really pay attention. Zeke was in the door way, too. Maybe he made friends. This is me laughing to myself. I stood up, brushing my arm with hers again.

"Alright, Kiddos. As much as I know you'd like to spend the rest of the train trip with me and Ms. Lamm, I have an obligation to my friends. Later, Gators." I smiled at all of them, then glanced at

Lamm and quirked an eyebrow before turning and leaving. Zeke and I walked in silence for a few a while. Finally he stopped.

"What was that about?"

"What are you speaking of, Zeke-y. Just saying that is a very vague statement, which leads me to want to invoke the something "nothing". Do you really want me to do that?" I smirked at him, as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. We continued walking.

"I mean that look you gave that girl. What's her name, Jyllian? I think I've helped her on something once... I don't remember what, but what was that look?" He looked at the ground for a minute before turning his icy blue stare on me. He could tell what that look meant. Zeke didn't have to have ask anymore. I'd been giving girls that look since I was...12? Mostly it meant I wanted into their pants, but I'm not entirely positive that's what it meant in this situation. I guess I was challenging her. To what? I'm not entirely positive.

"I was challenging her to God knows what. I've liked a lot of girls, but I don't know...I think I might actually like this one. I may just be suffering from the thrill of the chase. She can't exactly stand me...I plan on changing that," I grinned before entering the compartment that Kemp was still in. "Oh god, the Gigglers are still here aren't they?" Zeke looked pained as he nodded. We both laughed and opened the compartment door.

---:Jyllian:---

I felt so relieved when he left, I almost started singing. I followed Court out of the compartment as she led me to where she and Arielle had been seated. Right before Court opened the door, she asked, quite loudly mind you, "So, that was the new Head Boy?" I nodded in response. Now that he was gone, I didn't want to talk about him. "Hm… Random Halid, correct?" I was surprised she knew who he was.

"Yeah… but how did you know that?" I asked as I was sitting down. Arielle had now become attached to the conversation and was listening intently.

"How do you NOT know that? Jyll, he's like… the sex god of Hogwarts!" Arielle exclaimed. Right in my ear, in fact. Remind me to yell at her for that later. But on to more important matters. The sex god of Hogwarts? What is THAT supposed to mean? I didn't know there _was_ a sex god of Hogwarts. When did this come into effect? You know what this means? It means that all year I will have to put up with him bringing girls to the room like some pompous pig. I'm sure he is a pig. He has to be a pig. The words "sex god" don't come without the word "pig" somewhere in the description. In fact, the word "male" doesn't come without "pig". He's probably been with hundreds of girls, and now… ick. I don't even want to think about it.

"So you're telling me that the person I will share a common room, not to mention bathroom, with is… is… I don't even want to say it out loud!" I asked. Someone could have told me? HE could have told me. I mean, I'm sure he'd have no problem coming out and saying, 'Hi, Jyllian. I'm Random Halid, the sex god of Hogwarts.' I know plenty of mutant spawn, also known as boys, that would yell that at the top of their lungs in the middle of the Great Hall. That idiot.

---:Random:---

Oh god, please make them go away. All they ever do is giggle. I would prefer if someone would take a very dull and rusty spoon, stick it into my ear, and proceed to gouge my ear drums out. DO THEY SHUT UP! No i'm assuming not. At least Lamm doesn't constantly giggle until i want to stab myself in the EYE! Wait. I'm not going to talk (or think since I guess that's what I'm actually doing..) about her. This is pathetic. Girls consider me a sex god and all I can think about is that Head Girl wench. Wench. Hehe. Whoever invented that word is a genius. It just describes some females so well. Wait, I think someone is trying to make contact with me...

"Huh?" I ask, looking around the compartment, trying to find who had said something to me.

"Don't you think that most of Gryffindor girls are total prudes, Ranny?" A thin blonde girl asked me. She was curling her hair around her finger. Didn't girls know how irritating that was unless the guy was the one twirling the hair? I just smiled at her, charmingly.

"Yeah, some of them are," in this situation I was thinking about a particular PRUDE-ISH WENCH! Damn, there I go again. I have a serious problem. Maybe I just need to put into affect my sex god qualities. There thousands of girls that would throw themselves at me. I mean, look at me. I'm good looking, there is no way to help it. Again, I say it: Damn. I am a mixed up individual. First I say I want to change and not be such a player for ONE girl and now I'm talking about getting a good lay? I need to have a good conversation with Kemp and Zeke, without irritating Gigglers around. Oh look, the train has stopped. Another year at Hogwarts for the best looking guy in school. What WILL this school do with me as a figure head. I mean I just look so good, poor Hogwarts.

---:Jyllian:---

My friends have serious mental problems. They actually think that Random is good looking. I mean, he has nice eyes, but I definitely wouldn't call him good looking! Well… maybe I would… if I wasn't me and I was COMPLETELY INSANE! I still don't understand the point of the male species. Well, I get the whole "we can't reproduce without them" thing, but still… Like I'm ever going to get that close to a guy. I mean, can you imagine someone like Random and I getting married? Put that image in your head! Ha! Can you actually see us standing at the top of a staircase on New Year's Eve, ten seconds before midnight. At an extravagant party hosted by our families. Can you imagine us sitting in the living room cuddled together while we watched our children start levitating blocks as they showed their first signs of magic? Can you really picture that? Can you… Oh God! What have I been doing? No, no, no, no. I'm not thinking about him. I will not let him enter my mind until after the Sorting Ceremony. I took a deep breath.

I turned to Arielle to clear my head. "Elle, what am I going to do this year? I mean, I won't be in the dorm with you guys anymore! I know I'm almost eighteen, and I should learn to fend for myself… but it's going to be lonely in the Head's common room!"

She smiled at me. I loved Arielle's smile. It was one of those smiles that could light up a room. She was definitely the life of every party. "Don't worry, Jyll. We'll come and visit you – and every Saturday, we'll have a little sleep over in Gryffindor Tower. Okay?" She made me feel a lot better, but I also felt like a toddler.

"Okay," I said in my baby-ish voice. I smiled at her and Court. We were about to start up another conversation when we felt the train come to a stop. Looks like the year is about to begin.

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**Authors' Notes: **Hope you liked it! Stay tuned for the next installment of "Olive Juice". 33 


	2. Close Encounter of a Towel Kind

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry Potter and never will. They belong to J.K.R. We also do not own Are You There God, It's Me Margaret, which is the book that Random reads in this chapter.

**Authors' Notes: **We're back. In like the same day. But that's because Brittany's going camping, and it's Harry Potter weekend, so I'll be busy. Yeah, we're completely obsessed with this story now. I think it's kind of funny though. So yeah, read on, have a good time, and don't forget to review!

* * *

**Olive Juice**

Chapter Two: _Close Encounter of a Towel Kind_

---:Random:---

Well imagine that? Our first little devil is girl. I'm not being a perv here. I don't go for eleven years olds. That's just dis-gus-din'. I like my women younger than me, but older than that. I'm seventeen? They have to be at least... twelve. Just kidding. That's gross, too. Most twelve year olds haven't gotten out of those icky braces yet. I have never had braces. I was born with perfect teeth. Straight and white. I am just the perfect being. All should worship me for my perfection. I am perfect at everything I try. If you get what I mean. You are stupid if you missed that innuendo I made just now. Wait. I should be more mature than this, I am Head Boy after all.

New self-pledge(do boys normally do this?): I will be more mature and I will NOT bring strange girls back to what I'm sure will be a luxurious Head's room. I will not screw anybody. Unless I can manage that mission I set for myself...No I will not be enjoying myself this year. I have a job to do. Unless I find a really hot girl, there will be none other than Lamm in the my room. Wait. Did I just say something about Lamm being in my room? Hehehe...Let's imagine that for a minute...No, let's not. I am not going to be interested the Prude Wench. I am not. I just like the idea that I would have to chase her.

Maybe I won't be keeping true to my Pledge. Oh well, I'll try. I can't help it if I like to have a good time... I wonder if Prude Wench likes a good time...Hmm...I'll have to find out. Again, this is me laughing to myself. That girl won't be able to resist me after a while. I mean, I am me and I am irresistible to everything that is female. Yes, that does include animals. I have never had any sexual relations with animals because that is DISGUSTING not to mention illegal. I'm pretty sure my childhood pet dog, Sally, wanted some though. Okay, gross Halid. That's gross. Speaking of Sally...I wonder if she would be willing for another go. That was one hot chick. Okay off track Random.

"Hey guys, what do you think of the new Head Girl? She's down the table." I ask, turning my attention back to them. She was clapping for the little prat you was just made a Gryffindor (another one, we are becoming INFESTED!). My friends looked at her and Kemp smirked.

"Why do you ask, Ran? You hot for her? Probably, I bet she would be good in the sack. I mean, look at those-" I kicked Kemp under the table before he could continue his train of though. He began rubbing his leg and laughing. "Okay, I get. You like her?" I shrugged and my friends just looked at each other smiling. "I think he does, Pierre. What do you think?"

Zeke just looked at me, smiling, "I think he does, but what would I know." Then he imitated the face I had given Jyllian earlier when Kemp turned his head to look at Lamm again. I made a face back and I could tell he was laughing on the inside.

---:Jyllian:---

You know, I've always hated the sorting ceremony. It's so… long. Long and boring, that's what it is. Of course, it's only polite to clap – right? I looked over at my co-Head. He wasn't clapping. Why wasn't HE clapping? He's Head Boy, he should be proud to get new… wait a minute. I'm not supposed to think about him until after the sorting ceremony.

Is the ceremony over yet?

Gah! Why do I care about him? He's disgusting. He's… bleh. I suppose I can TALK about him if I don't THINK about him, right? I mean, I can ask questions about him, can't I? Sure I can. I made up the rule. I can break it.

"Hey, Elle, Court – I know he's the 'sex god', but what do you REALLY think of Random Halid?" I asked them, turning slightly in my seat, but still facing the front, so it would appear that I was still paying attention. Ha! I don't think I've ever paid attention to the sorting ceremony. Except for when I was being sorted, of course. But then again, I almost wet myself that night.

"Well, he's extremely good looking. There's no denying that," Court murmured, though it was still quite loud, as she peered down the table to where Random and his little posse were seated. She immediately snapped back. I'm guessing they looked over here. I shifted my eyes slightly to see if they were, and sure enough, there was Kemp, sitting there staring at us like a small puppy dog. "Don't look now," she whispered in my and Arielle's ear, "but Kemp Toal is looking over here as we speak." No, really? Thanks for pointing out the obvious there, Court. I swear, that girl… she's not with it sometimes. I shrugged it off just as the last year was being sorted. Dumbledore stood up and said something about… something. Like I said, I don't pay attention.

"Our Head Boy this year is Random Halid from Gryffindor," he said as the Great Hall burst into applause, except the Slytherins of course. "And our Head Girl is Jyllian Lamm, also from Gryffindor." I just smiled and pretended I wasn't there. I don't like people looking at me, but I can see that was going to be a problem this year.

---:Random:---

Oh good, the ceremony is over. Well as... uninteresting as that was, I need SLEEP! Oh wait, Dumbledore just said my name. Hello everyone! Isn't it reassuring to know that you have me to look at all the time. I am waving at the good people and they seem to like it. I have nice hands. Really big and strong. I should not think things like that because I will be a pervert if I do. GAH! What is wrong with me? Oh, yah. I'm a guy. I can deal with that. Rock on PERVERSION! Dumblerdore is calling Lamm and I up to the front. What the bloody hell does he want? Ha, he probably wants to show us to our getaway. Oooh, that sounds kinky. No, no it doesn't because I am not thinking things like that about Wench. I should call her that to her face to see how she reacts.

I walk up to Dumbledore and Jyllian is close behind, "What can we do for you Professor?" I ask, shoving my hands into my pockets. Dumbledore smiled down at us. Jylli seems a little uncomfortable, is it just me or is that how she ALWAYS is? Maybe it is just me. Like I mean I am the reason she does that. that's probably what it is. She is probably warm for my form. I can deal with that.

"Well, I was going to show the two of you to the Head's Commons, if you are both ready?" We both nod and Dumbledore leads us out of the Great Hall, through a mob of disgusting little first years.

---:Jyllian:---

So, after that completely embarrassing social acknowledgement, Dumbledore is showing us to my place of torture, the Head's common room/dorm/living space. Whatever you want to call it! Urrr… I'll have to find out what type of girl absolutely appalls him. Then, I can BECOME that type of girl, and he'll just leave me alone. You know, I'm scaring myself. I'm making a huge deal of this. I've known him for… what? A few hours and I already want him to die. Hm… that must be some type of record. Usually it takes a few days, at least, to get a death wish from me. This guy must be special. …Wait, what am I saying? He's not special. He's just infuriating. He's a slimy, good for nothing, retarded male. That puts him at the TOP of my Death List. And that's saying something.

Oh, look, we've arrived. Hoorah. Not. What's this? A painting of… Sir Widdleworth III? Okay, no offense to you or anything, Mr. Wid, but how did you grow up with that name? I mean: Widdleworth. You must have gotten teased so much. Too bad I really don't care. Oh great, he's looking at me again. I bet he's devising some kind of diversion to traumatize me in my sleep or something like that. I'll have to keep my eye out for him.

---:Random:---

Oh fun! Widdleworth. I'll have to remember to tease him about that. Poor bastard. Oh, look, she's smirking. Either she is thinking up some way to get into my pants (like I'd resist) or she is thinking about Widdleworth. Considering she can't stand me, I'm going for the latter. Anyone care to have an opinion. No not you Freddy, of course you want to go for the former. You are just-...no I'm not talking to...myself...Okay looking away from Lamm now. That's better. Dumbledore just said the password. Lemon Drop? LEMON DROP? What kind of password is THAT? You could have something much more suggestive and they chose Lemon Drop? Of course, I'm sure they don't want their students being turned on with the passwords, so I can understand the Lemon Drop thing, but STILL. Moving on.

So we walk into our new Common Room. Red and Gold. Everywhere. They really go all out with the house color thing don't they? Oh well, at least it's a nice combination. Unlike some other colors. Hufflepuff: Yellow and Purple? I mean come on? Who the hell in their right mind would pick those? Especially together. No wonder I hear all of their guys are pansies. Look at their house colors. How is one excepted to shag properly when thinking, "Oh yay for the happy yellow and purple badgers! GO TEAM!"? It just doesn't work that way. That's like anti-erection creating... Did I seriously just think the word erection? Okay, off that topic, it's...bad...

It really is luxurious in here, if I may use that word. All the sofas and chairs look really comfortable. Oh look, a coffee table and study desk. OH FIRE! We have a fire of our own. SCORE! I can't wait to see what my room looks like...

---:Jyllian:---

Wow. This is one… beautiful common room. But do they really have to decorate every single thing with red and gold? I mean, I'm all for house pride and everything, but I don't think a red and gold toilet is necessary. Well, I don't know if there is a red and gold toilet, but I bet there is. Hogwarts is crazy like that. Random's got a smug look on his face. I don't like it. Dumbledore said that my room is on the right, his is on the left, and the bathroom is in the middle. And… oh no. Apparently, there are doors that connect our bedrooms with the bathroom. That is not good. Mental note: Never leave the bathroom door unlocked! What if he was to walk in on me when I was in the shower? Or! He could just waltz through the bathroom and into my room while I was sleeping… or getting dressed! Oh no. These professors don't think ahead, do they? Does privacy mean nothing to them? Don't they know that teenaged boys have insane hormones and will pounce whenever they can? Really now, it's like our professors don't remember their teen-hood. I sighed. Random must have noticed because he looked at me, but he quickly looked away. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and made my way to my room. I stepped inside and almost forgot to breathe.

This is SO much better than those five person dorms back in Gryffindor Tower! I looked at the room from all sides. There was an insanely large wardrobe, a desk, a bookshelf, and two tables on both sides of a fantastically large bed, decorated in scarlet and gold bed sheets of course. So, my common room mate may suck, but at least I can escape to this paradise that I get to call my room! But then I think about it, and his room is probably the same. He doesn't deserve it. So, he can torture me and return to his oasis, while I get tortured before returning. It's not fair! He gets the best of both worlds, while I just get the short end. Pfft. Life sucks.

---:Random:---

Okay, the chick is spazzing, but I can handle her. I don't think I'm going to be able to handle myself, though. Two words: Connecting Bathrooms. God must love me. What if she decides to lock all the doors? What if I have to go and she locks all the doors? I'M SCREWED. Wait. I know a spell to unlock doors. Good job, keep your cool. I walk into my room and am shocked. This is better than I was expecting. It's very masculine. With a big oak dresser, with all the pictures of my family and friends already set up. A large bed with red and gold bedding. Am not going to make any comments about use of beds... Two night tables with a clock and lights were either side of the bed. The walls are painted in red and gold. Oh, another desk. Go desks. That has pictures as well. A book shelf held all my favorite books. Yes, you idiot, I love to read. I bet you anything Lamm would be shocked to know I read at all, let alone that I read well known novels. The Great Gatsby, Beowulf, To Kill a Mockingbird, and the sort. I actually have an intellect. I'm not just a horny teen-aged idiot. I'm sure some people would call me that, but that's not ALL I am. I do surprisingly well in my studies.

I like to have a good time, that doesn't make a slacker. Thinking about I've never really had to work hard to well in school. I guess that's something else that makes me that much more perfect. I need stop thinking about that all the time... I walk back into the Common Room and the Prude Wench comes out of her room. Dumbledore is smiling at us. "Do the rooms suit you?" Both of us nod and thank him. "I'll leave you to get to know each other then." I smirk as Dumbledore's form leave's the room. I turn to Lamm.

"So? You want to get to know each other now, or do you want to wait?"

---:Jyllian:---

"I'll leave you to get to know each other then." You know, I used to like Professor Dumbledore. He had never done anything bad to me, he had actually been nice. But now I think he needs to die. I'm not particularly keen on getting to know Random Halid any better than I got to know him on the train.

Of course, after he asked that question, it does open up some opportunities to show him who I really am. Or at least who I can be. Who knows what's going on in his head right now. "Getting to know each other" could mean anything from talking about our childhood to… Ugh. Gross. But like I mentioned before, he's a boy, which means he's got overwhelming hormones. Perhaps I could play with them a bit. I smiled evilly. I don't think it actually appeared on my face though. So, I smiled evilly inwardly. I walked over to him, and for once, actually made HIM look uncomfortable.

I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. This ought to get him. "What exactly did you have in mind?" I asked. Rather seductively if I may say so myself. I was actually quite proud.

---:Random:---

Thank you, God. The chick was finally coming on to me. This is exactly what I wanted. What did I have in mind? Well I think we all know that...Don't we? It would involve my room...my bed to be more exact... I'll have to see how far she wants to go, or if she is just pulling my...leg...

I stepped closer so we were inches apart, I could tell her breathe had hitched in her chest. "I don't know. What are you ready for, Doll?"

---:Jyllian:---

Okay, so you know that whole "mess with his hormones" thing? Yeah, not such a good idea. What am I supposed to do? What do you say to something like that when you absolutely detest the person that is saying it to you? I could cause physical pain… I know of a spot where that is very easy to do. But, no. Violence is not the answer, Jyllian. How could you even think of something like that? Maybe because he's evil. But no. No pain for Random – today. I'll just have to think of something witty to say in response. Uh… totally drawing a blank here.

I smiled at him once more and said really quietly, "I'll be right back." I walked slowly up the two or three (I hadn't bothered to count) stairs to my room. I hoped the door and peered around at him. I raised my eyebrows once more closed the door behind me.

HOLY CRAP! What am I going to do now? That was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What were you thinking! Gah!

---:Random:---

Well obviously, she was messing with my mind and she ran to her room realizing that I was going to do something if she stayed. Maybe I should follow her and do something anyways. She is the one that came onto me. No I'm not going to do that. I have more manners than that. I don't approve of raping. Although factoid time: When a woman is being raped her strength increases by four. Sadly for her though when a man rapes a woman his strength increases by FOURTY! I don't think that's very cool. Who would even want to have sex with someone who didn't want them back? That's madness. I'm pretty sure it would better if she wanted it too... But if you get off on the rush of know you have power. Oh, that's kinky...I will never rape anyone though. That's wrong. I can be perverted, but not that much

Anyways, I am just going to wander back into my room and read because I am obviously unwanted. Oh look, I'll read this: Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. I wonder what it's about. I've never read it... My name isn't Margaret, but what the hell.

---:Jyllian:---

I sighed. It sounds like he left. I poked my head out the door to see if my prediction was correct. Yes. He's given up. Good. Because he needs to go away. Looks like I'm off the hook for tonight. Phew. I decided to go check out the bathroom since I had nothing better to do.

It was almost as beautiful as the bedroom. It had black marble counters and silvery tile floors. A little too Slytherinny for my taste, but it was breathtaking all the same. The shower was humongous! It had glass doors, but they were, like… tinted. I was also pleased to see that the toilet was not red and gold. There was, however, a sticker of the Gryffindor crest on the toilet paper. Now, exactly WHAT is the point of that? After fully inspecting the bathroom, just one wall away from my decided enemy, I thought I'd risk it and take a quick shower. The day had been pretty stressful, and there's nothing like a nice hot shower to relieve you of stress.

---:Random:---

Oh. God. Oh god. OH MY GOD! I SHOULD NEVER HAVE PICKED UP THIS BOOK! I will not be able to put it down until I finish now. I have to find out what happens to Margaret and her lack of period-getting. Her friends have it, but she doesn't. What is up with this? WHY DO I CARE? Maybe they put it in here to make me more sensitive to my female Head? I don't know, but I am seriously disturbed. I feel unclean. I'll take a shower. Yes, that's a perfect idea. Good one, Halid.

I open the bathroom door and am greeted by my co-Head, who is inspecting the bathroom, which is very nice by the way. Very large shower. Damn perverted thoughts. Anyways, she is just staring at me. I'm staring at her, but not for entirely the same reasons, I'm sure.

"I was gonna take a shower, were you?" I ask, politely. She just nods, and I nod in return. "I would suggest that we save water and go at the same time, but I'm sure that would not go over terribly well, so I'll just let you go first. I'll go read my...book. Could you tell me when you're done, so I can take a shower, too?" She nods again, so I smile and close the door. I lay back down on my bed and read my book, like I said I would. I'm going to think about what's going on inside that bathroom.

---:Jyllian:---

Well, that was awkward. I'm not so sure I want to take my clothes off anymore? Maybe a bathing suit would be suitable? Oh, ha ha – a bathing SUIT being SUITable. Who would've known I could make a joke in my time of freak out-age. But no, a bathing suit would take too long, and he would come barging in wondering what is taking so long JUST as I was taking my shirt off. He's a guy. He has that impeccable timing.

I got into the shower as quickly as I could. But as soon as the water hit my back, I realized that I had forgotten to lock the door between Random's room and the bathroom. How completely stupid of me. Sure, I remember to lock MY door, where nobody is, but I don't remember to lock Random's. Do I dare get out of the shower before I'm done? I stepped out really quickly and wrapped the big red towel around me. I ran over to Random's door and tried to look it. Damn you, lock! LOCK! Lock! The stupid lock was broken. No, you're going to be a good lock and do what you're supposed to do. LOCK. He must have heard me messing with the doorknob because it started to turn as I was trying to get the lock to obey me. I took three steps backward and realized that he was coming in. He was coming in. He opened the door completely and just stood there.

"Uh… uh… hi?" was all I could say.

---:Random:---

Come on, get the bloody period already. RATTLE RATTLE. That's interesting sound effect. What is that? RATTLE RATTLE. It's coming from the bathroom door. What is Prude Wench doing? RATTLE RATTLE. Great. She probably hurt herself. I walk over to the door and open it. OH. MY. GOD. She is in ONLY A TOWEL. What am I supposed to do now? Well I know what I want to do, but what should I REALLY do?

"Uh... uh... hi?" Is what she said to me. Uh... uh... hi? What kind of cover up is that? If she had wanted to come into my room all she had to do was ask. Like it's that hard. I would have gladly let her in, especially if she was only in a towel... Okay no. What do I do now? I ask questions!

"Is there something you needed?" She just stared at me and her face on fire. I think I may have embarrassed her. Oh well, not my problem. She is the one that was trying to come into my room. I stepped towards her and she steps back. I step forward again, and say, very huskily, "If you'd wanted to come into my room, all you had to do was ask. Sneaking in, dressed like that, was totally unnecessary."

I can see her gulp. I think I am making her uncomfortable, again. Good. Let's see what she does now that's she is under that pressure of my charm.

---:Jyllian:---

What? He thinks I was trying to sneak into his room? On purpose? Is he serious? Goodness gracious, this boy has an inflated head. It's like he's doing the tango, too. Taking a step forward, taking another step forward. Aren't there other steps involved in the tango? Maybe three or more back? I just know my face is more red than a tomato at this very moment. His voice _is_ kind of sexy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did I just say what I think I said? No… I couldn't have. If I just stand here, he's going to think something boy-ish. He's going to think that I'm actually considering the fact of going into his bedroom wearing only a towel. Which I'm not.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He got this really strange look on his face. He almost looked amused.

---:Random:---

What does she expect me to do now? That's the problem with girls, you never know what they want. This is still amusing. She is speechless. HA HA! I know she is interested in me now. I move my face closer to hers and breathe on her (my breath is fresh, fear not) and look at her lips, then directly into her eyes. I smirk and move even closer.

"Have fun in the shower, Lamm." I walk out of the bathroom and close the door behind me, knowing I've made her terribly uncomfortable. That's enough to tell her what she wants. Quite obviously that would be ME. I pick up my book again continue to read. Eventually, I hear a knock at my real door and I tell Jyllian to come in.

"Shower's free," was all she said before she closed the door again. She is so thinking about jumping me. I can't tell because she didn't even look at me when she opened the door. She just said that the shower was free. Well I guess if it is, I'll take one. A shower, that is. I go into the bathroom get into the shower. Awww...that's better. Now I feel clean. No longer dirty from the period book.

---:Jyllian:---

Damn him! My heart was beating faster in there than it ever has. I'm almost surprised he didn't hear it. He knows how to get to me, I'll give him that. After I left the bathroom, I leaned up against the door, trying to get my steady heartbeat back. I hurried to change into my pajamas (flannel pants and a tank top), and went to explore my room. I hadn't fully looked around it yet. I also had to set out my clothes and pictures. I had only started to unpack my school books when my door opened. I turned to see the one person I didn't want it to be. Who else would it have been? Sir Widdleworth III? I think not.

Random was standing there, with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wet and falling in his eyes. "Mind if I borrow your shampoo?" he asked leaning against the doorframe.

I'm sure my face, which had dulled down to the shade of a Pink Pear eraser, was back to its shade of tomato-red. "No, go ahead."

He nodded and closed the door behind him.

---:Random:---

Okay, she's not completely shrewd. She let me borrow her shampoo. Which I am noticing is making my hair really soft. I know that's what conditioner is supposed to do, but I'm a guy, we don't use conditioner. I can't stop running my hairs through my hair. This shampoo smells good, too. Like freshly picked apples. I did notice in my earlier close proximity to her that she smelled good, and now I know what it is. Her SHAMPOO. I LOVE HER SHAMPOO! I could run my hands through all day. I mean, I already looked good, but now I must look even better. I just want to touch my hair all the time. I got dressed and knocked on her door. I opened it for a second time that day and saw her in those flannel pants, which looked smashing.

Anyways, her face which had obviously become less red, crimsoned right back up when she saw me. I am beginning to believe that me constantly coming into her room and bothering her is making her unhappy. She just looked at me questioningly, obviously wanting to know why I was back. I leaned against the door frame in a dashing way, I've done this before (not only a few minutes ago) and I happened to know I look really good when I do this. I smiled at her and opened my mouth, "I just wanted to thank you for letting me borrow your shampoo. It's very nice. My hair is very soft, would you like to feel?" When her face became even redder, I laughed. "I'm joking, Lamm. Anyways, thanks." I just stood in her door for a minute, to see if she'd say something.

---:Jyllian:---

He actually had the decency to thank me. That shows character. He's just waiting there now. Am I supposed to say something? Oh, yes, I suppose I should.

"Anytime," I said. Well, that was a lame reply, don't you agree? God, whenever he's around, I can't get in any of my witty comebacks or excuses. I just turn to mush. I swear, I have problems. He's inducing these problems, too. It's not very nice.

Alas, he seemed content with my answer – if you can even call it an answer. It's that bad. "See you around," he said before turning to leave once more. He does that a lot. He enters the room, acts all suave and debonair, and then just leaves… it's getting irritating. … Not that I'd want him to stay longer. I mean, if he _wanted_ to stay longer, I guess he could. It might be nice to have a civil conversation with him. I haven't exactly put any effort into it, now have I?

"Hey! Halid…" I yelled after him, just before the door closed. Oh, great. Now that you've got his attention you actually have to say something, and no more of that 'Uh… uh… hi?' crap. What can you talk to a sex god about? Ahh… I know. "What makes you think you're all that?"

---:Random:---

What makes me think I'm all that? I look her straight in the eye and reply, "Because I am." I close the door, but not before seeing that she is totally shocked. I saunter to my own bedroom door when I her's open again. I glance behind me and I see Lamm looking relatively unhappy. Oh great, a confrontation. That's exactly what I want. She is going to yell at me. I hate being yelled at, it's just no fun. Unless of course it's THAT kind of yelling. NO, mind OUT of gutter Halid. Maybe if I make her uncomfortable she won't yell at me.

"What do you need, Lamm?" I smirk at her and turn around completely, so I am facing her.

---:Jyllian:---

The nerve of him! "UGH! You disgust me, Random Halid! I TRY to be nice and start a conversation, and you just walk away with some snide remark! What IS your problem!" I take a deep breath. "Just when I started to think you were bearable, charming even – heck, I even started to like you! Then you go off and –" I stopped. What did I say? TELL me I didn't say that. No, I didn't just say that. My eyes must have widened at least an inch before I slapped my hand to my mouth. My heart was beating again. I just wanted to jolt out of there, but he grabbed my arm.

---:Random:---

I love it when girls realize on their own their feelings about me. She just told me she likes me. I can't let that go. I have a chance, not that I was doubting that chance before... She is scared out of her wits right now. I have a hold on her arm. I could potentially do anything I wanted. The real kicker here is she would LET me do anything I wanted. I always have the power. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking like that. That's how rapists talk. I don't want to be a rapist. Her arm was tense in my grasp.

"Don't worry, Jylli, I won't rape you or anything." Not that it would be rape because she would totally submit. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned rape in that sentence she looks insanely uneasy. I smiled at her, "That wasn't a good choice of words, was it?" I grinned, then tucked some of her stray hair behind her. Her breath hitched and electricity was running up my arm. I pulled away and released her arm. I smiled at her again and turned to go back to my bedroom.

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**Authors' Notes: **Yup, that's chapter two. (-coughREVIEWcough-) 

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the shameless plug. If you have never heard of Derik Nelson, you are not alone. However, you are extremely sad. I mean... he's not a rock star yet, but he will be. I suggest you ALL listen to his music because he rockeths. This is the truth. Thank you and good night.


	3. Definite Control

**Disclaimer: **Well, we have to say that we, sadly, don't own Harry Potter. As heart wrenching as that is, it's true. It's all JKR's. We do, however, own the plot and the characters so... uh huh, yeah. That's it.

**Authors' Notes: **We're back! Lol - this is the long awaited, or maybe not, we don't know, THIRD chapter. Love us by commenting.

* * *

**Olive Juice**

Chapter Three: _Definite Control_

---:Jyllian:---

What kind of comment is that? "I won't rape you or anything." Goodness gracious. It's like he's been THINKING of raping me. That's not good, mind you. I shivered as I went back to my room. I pretty much just ruined my entire year. With like… three words. Three words to ruin my whole seventh year. Way to go, Jyll. I'm never going to be able to sleep tonight. Besides, I feel like taking another shower. He touched me. That's disgusting. He touched my FACE. Well, nearly. My hair, but my hair was in my face! Get a grip, Jyll. This isn't the first time a guy has touched you! It's not the first time a guy has touched me, but it's the first time I got that eerie feeling. Like I was being electrocuted or something. I didn't like it at all. Not one bit.

---:Random:---

I walked back into my room and fell onto my bed. Okay, kinda blew that one. I hadn't meant to say anything raping OUT LOUD. Oh well, she knows she liked it. Again, I don't think I have to say that there would be no raping. Is that the shower I hear? What is wrong with that girl? She just took a shower. Oh, no. Not another one who thinks I am infected. Wait, she already did think I was infected. I have serious problems. Maybe I'll read my book again. How long can one book last without the part where she gets her period? MY GOD!

I read for about fifteen minutes before the book started to get good, "FINALLY! SHE GOT HER PERIOD! THANK THE LORD! Speaking of the Lord, does she believe in him again? Thank the Lor- Oh crap." I realized too late that I probably shouldn't have said what I'd just said too loudly. I hope Lamm didn't hear that. If she did I hope she comes to see what the hell I'm talking about, so I can explain that I'm reading a book. That would lead to me having to explain why I'm reading this book, but I can probably deal with that...

---:Jyllian:---

I stepped out of the shower. I probably shouldn't have taken another one. Isn't that like wasting water? Oh well, this is the wizarding world! They can make water come out of someone's ears! Anyway, as I took a quick peak in the mirror, that was fogged up, I heard Random yell something. I didn't understand quite what it was, but it sounded suspicious. I walked over and poked my head through the door. Just my head. I didn't need him to see me in my towel when he's thinking about raping me.

"Um… Random? You okay?" I asked cautiously, just in case he was possessed or something.

---:Random:---

Since I had been lying on my stomach my head snapped back when she opened my door. I twisted my head weird and pain shot through my neck. "OW! Bloody HELL! OW!" I rolled over onto my back, gripping my neck. I was in pain and the dreaded floating head demon also known as Jyllian Lamm was just floating there. Not bothering to help me. I continued to swear for several seconds before I tried to sit up. Bad idea. After that I just laid there, waiting for something other than stares like I was stark raving mad. I glared at the ceiling and wished that I could either get help or be left alone. Maybe I should voice that... No, that would be mean. Oh, well, Prude Wench deserves it right now.

"Are you going to ask if I'm okay, or just stare at me like some side-show freak? Because if it's not the first one I would prefer if you would just go away," I told her, coldly. I looked at her to best of my ability and she seemed to be laughing at me. Her eyes showed that she was. Damn woman.

---:Jyllian:---

Okay… Maybe he really is possessed. Did he not hear me just ask, like two seconds ago, if he was okay? Well, apparently, my voice means nothing to him. What was I thinking before? He doesn't listen to what I say. I suppose he is in pain. Maybe I should do something? But wait – I'm still in my towel.

"Err… are you okay?" He shot me a nasty look. "Alright, well, I'll take that as a _no…_" I ran back out of the room to get my wand and a cloth from the bathroom, but I'm pretty sure he thought that I was just leaving him. So he's probably really pissed at me right now. Oh well. I handed him the wet cloth in my hand. "Here," I said as I gave it to him. "I charmed it to turn really hot, but then turn really cold. It's something I picked up from my mum. It should make your neck feel better." He took it reluctantly and put it behind his neck. I started out of the room, but forgot about the reason that I had come into his room in the first place. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity.

"Oh, and congratulations on getting your period!" I said cheerfully before almost skipping back to my room.

---:Random:---

Man, now she thinks I'm like, some man with OVARIES! I'm seventeen for Christ's sake. APPARENTLY, girls get their period before that. At least she got me something for my neck. I thought she was just going to leave me here to die or something, but she came back with this thing for my neck. Then she left saying that I'm an Ovary-man. That's so lame. Maybe she'll come back and talk to me. That would be nice, she seems like a fun person to talk to, not just try to seduce. Although, that is fun, too. I'm so bored. I thought she said this thing was going to get colder. OW! HOT! Oh, I think it's getting colder now. Dear God, that's cold.

What the hell is she banging around in the bathroom for (and is she alone? Sorry, bad Random. Thinking bad thoughts again). Does she have no consideration of a man in serious pain?

"Oy, what are you doing in there?"

---:Jyllian:---

I had tripped. Way to go, Jyll. God. You were celebrating, and you FALL OVER! I sighed. I heard his "concern" from the other room.

"Euuuugh!" I yelled back. I wasn't quite back into my groove, if you know what I mean. A little disoriented at the moment. I had hit my head on the counter. I started to get up, but I immediately saw black spots that distorted my vision, so I sat back down. This whole 'you're in a towel' predicament wasn't working out for me. I should have changed really quickly when I went to get my wand, but NO! I had to hurry up and help the boy in pain. Now, I can't get up, and he's in pain, so he can't get up. We're both screwed. Except he has one of those Hot-Cold Cloths. I don't. Besides, it wouldn't help. I tried to stand up again but failed once more, for I had hit my head again on the counter. Note to self: move out from under the counter before attempting to get up. "Auurrrm!" I yelled. I don't know where these words are coming from, they just are. All I knew at that point was that my head hurt really badly.

---:Random:---

I heard strange noises coming from the bathroom. They were almost... No. Bad train of thought. I wonder what's wrong with her. I fight my pain and manage to get out of bed. I take my hot-cold thingy with me and stumble to the bathroom door. I push it open further to reveal Jyllian lying on the floor holding her head. My pain seemed to disappeared, or at least become less noticeable, when I realized that the crashing sound I had heard was her hitting her head. I immediately walk over to her and wrap my arms around her, to get her up. She seems rather dazed and allows me to walk her into her room. I help her climb into her bed. She is still making those strange noises that, if she weren't at risk of dying, would totally have turned me on...

Once she gets comfortable I walk through the bathroom and into my own room, where I collapse onto my bed, again. This has certainly been an eventful day. I needed some good sleep. I went back into Jyllian's room with that hot-cold pad, which was turning hot again, for some reason and placed it on her head. I think she was alseep, but I'm not entirely positive. I looked at her for a few minutes. God, she was peaceful looking when she slept. I finally went back into my own room and fell asleep.

---:Jyllian:---

_I was walking down a hallway. I must have gotten hurt or something because walking seemed like the hardest thing in the world. There were doors on both sides of me. I had no idea where I was or why I was here. I started peeking in all the doors as if I was looking for something, but I didn't know what. I hate not knowing everything I possibly can about the situation, so I was starting to get really stressed out. I opened door after door, just finding a dark room. When I reached the end of the hall, there was a single door. It said, 'Evol' on it. What 'evol' meant, I had no idea. There was a light coming out of the crack from the door. I walked up to it and pushed it open. In it, stood Random Halid._

I sat up rather quickly. Bad idea. My head still hurt very, very badly. I laid back down. What was up with that dream? And what the heck does "evol" mean? Why is Random haunting my dreams? He's not something I want to see during the day, not to mention my subconscious! I would have shook my head if it didn't hurt so much. …How did I get in my bed anyway? And, oh crap, I'm still wearing my towel. Blast this stupid towel! The last thing I remember is falling over in the bathroom. I hate my stupid feet. They're too big for my body, I say. Make me fall over every which way! That still doesn't explain how I got into this terribly comfortable bed in time to have that HORRIBLE dream. No, nightmare! Well, I suppose it wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't a good dream. It was… A NIGHT THING! That's what it was. Either I levitated myself, which is highly impossible, or someone, someone being Random, carried me. Okay. I don't like the thought of either. One: I'm wearing a towel, and I don't want him touching me when I'm wearing a towel. Enough said. Two: levitating yourself when you're unconscious can't be a good thing, signs of Dark Magic or something! Three: Well, there is no three. It just seemed like a list of two things was a list that had gone to waste! But still… this is going to bother me. I need to know. I changed quickly into my pajamas. Enough of this damn towel. I tiptoed through the bathroom, very carefully. My head was still throbbing, but I ignored it. I had to know. I peeked through my co-Head's door into his room. I found him reading a book, still wide awake with his Hot-Cold Cloth still on his neck.

"Random?" I whispered. He looked at me, surprised, and smiled.

---:Random:---

I turn my as my door opens and Jyllian calls out my name. I smile, she's hasn't died. Agreeable I probably should have taken her to the Hospital Wing, and not to her bed, but still. She isn't dead, I think that is a pretty good feat. She better be pretty grateful that I saved her life. What if she doesn't know I saved her life? Great, I'm a hero, but nobody KNOWS IT! I feel like God is smiting me for liking the connected bathrooms so much. Here I was beginning to think I was a blessed one, but NO! I'm a hero without acknowledgment. I'm like...well I can't think of a super hero, but I'm sure there is one. Although, I'm entirely positive that there is...Okay, off track. I should probably ask what she wants...

"Yeah?" Great response, Halid. Smashing. I'm a real word doctor, right? Well I must be, I have girls falling at me feet every where I go. Not that I dislike it all that much. Some of them are worthy. Most of the worthy ones aren't very bright...I guess that's saying something about me, right. Oh well, I enjoy being a player. I can honestly tell you that I can't remember a time when I had a girlfriend I really wanted to be faithful to. I normally was anyways, but not because I wanted to be. I just find it awful to cheat on someone because you don't know why you started dating them in the first place (other than sex). I have never really had a girlfriend for very long, so I guess it doesn't matter, does it? My girlfriends always seem to be really clingy and annoying if you talk to them for more than five minutes. Five minutes. That's about how long most people think my relationships last. They last at least ten. Just kidding. The longest time is...a couple of weeks? I don't even remember. Oh well...See? This is what happens when I have to wait for someone to reply. She is looking at me nervously. WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT?

---:Jyllian:---

"Err… Random? Yeah, uh… I was just – um…" I started. God! Why didn't the words come out of my mouth? Why was he even awake? He was supposed to be asleep so I could just say what I wanted to say to his sleeping figure. Not his overly attentive face! "I just wanted to… uh… Thanks," I said quickly before turning around and shutting the door. I took more deep breaths. Why was that so hard! Gah… I swear, I'm going insane. It must have been my head ache.

---:Random:---

"Honestly, it was the weirdest night of my life. I've had some weird ones, if you know what I mean," I said to my friends as we sat at the table for breakfast the next morning. I swear to Lord above that I was going to go insane if I hadn't talked to my friends. I needed some good male interaction before my head split open from confusion. She bothers me AT NIGHT for something other than what we both know we want, and when she does so, she doesn't make sense. I wasn't going to bite, you know, unless she's into that sort of thing. I doubt she is. Why am I even thinking like that? This is Prude Wench, man, keep your mind on track.

Kemp got a look on his face, "Well, if she doesn't like you, you would mind if I had a go at it?" I stare blankly at him and he starts to laugh. "I'm joking, man, I'm not gonna try to get your girl. It sounds like your charm has started to work, though. Keep it up. Who knows? Maybe she will let you have her." He smirked and continued eating his eggs. I just shook my head and chuckled lightly to myself. Kemp is like a brother to me. I'd let myself die for him, but when it comes to a hot girl, he just can't keep it in his pants where it belongs. If he sees a hot girl that finds him hot in return he can't control himself. He is so horny. All the time. Not even I'm that bad, and I'm pretty horny. Kemp also has a tendency to be perverted, worse than me. That's saying something, yes?

"Leave the poor guy alone, Kemp." Zeke said, shaking his head.

"What? I was leaving him alone," Kemp looked hard Zeke, "Something wrong, Pierre? You seem..." I trailed off.

"Irritable?" I finished.

"Yes! That's the word, good on Ran! So what's wrong Pierre, my man?" Zeke just looked at him and muttered something about going to the bathroom. He left the table and Kemp turned to me. "I think it's a girl, but which one?" We looked around the Great Hall. I was nodding my head in agreement, but shrugged, not finding anything suspicious.

"Time to go to class, Kem, let's go." With that we left the Great Hall and caught up with Zeke, who had not gone to the bathroom for all we could tell.

---:Jyllian:---

"Arielle, I'm serious! The night was so… Random," I said to one of my best friends the next day at breakfast.

"What do you mean, 'it was so Random'?" she asked me. I just realized. His name goes well with describing events, doesn't it? I'll have to remember to comment on that.

"Well, we kept running into each other, and I got hit on the head, he cricked his neck… it was so weird!" I said. I probably shouldn't have told them about the whole head thing… Oh no, here it comes.

"You hit your head!" Court practically yelled. "Why didn't you go to the Hospital Wing!" Oh no, now I have to explain. Stupid, Jyll, bad move.

"I… uh… went unconscious," I started. I closed my eyes. Now they're going to freak out and ask me how I know I passed out or something stupid like that. Then, I'll have to tell them that Random carried me to my bed while I was only wearing a towel – NO! No comments about towels. It will just get their girlish minds a'workin' about something I really don't want to know about. Towel comment never leaves my mouth.

"You. Went. Unconscious! JYLLIAN! That's dangerous! How could you just… Ugh! So, I imagine you woke up on the floor?" Arielle asked me, taking a bite of eggs. She asks the wrong questions at exactly the wrong times, don't you agree? She could have just left the comment alone, but NO! She had to go and do her whole, 'I know everything, you can't hide anything from me,' thing that I hate.

"Er… not exactly…" I started. I didn't want to say it. Once I said it, they'd have blackmail on me forever. They'd tease me like there was no tomorrow. "Random kind of… erm… camlkjdfslj;lkjd…" I said, jumbling up the last few words.

"Random what?" they asked in unison.

"He… he carried me back to my bed! Happy?" I exclaimed, not too loudly, of course. I glanced down the table while my friends were laughing. Zeke was leaving the hall… Hm… I wonder why…

"H-he… haha!" Court managed out through here gasps for air.

"I think we need to get to class, ladies," I said getting up from the table. "Now."

They made a face and followed me out.

---:Random:---

God, I hate Snape. He just hates me because I'm not greasy and girls actually like me. He wishes he had my dashing good looks," I told my friends as we left a particularly loud Potions class. Loud from cauldrons exploding and from protests and Snape deducted House points, causing even more points to be taken away. I really have always disliked Snape. Poor Bastard can't get a girl so he has to take it out on good looking blokes like myself. Showering is actually a good thing. Those people from the Middle Ages were crazy. How could they go that long without bathing? At risk of sounding queer, that is nasty. How could anybody last that long? I start to feel gross after two days. Not that I ever go two days without showering, but still. At least we're done for the day. I have to go dump my things in my room. My co-head is not taking Potions or at least not at the same time as me, Lucky Lamm. Hey, good for me. I made a...umm...I don't remember what they are called, but they have a special name...Oh well, I made one.

I walk into the Heads Commons and Lamm is sitting reading a book. I walk past her and dump my things in my room before I decide to pay attention to her. I sit on the couch opposite her and stare until she realizes that I am looking at her. When she finally does look up she does so uncomfortably.

---:Jyllian:---

He was staring at me. I don't think he knew I knew… but I did. That really made no sense, but that's okay. But really, what person just sits there and stares at someone? It's a little creepy isn't it? Ah well… I guess I better acknowledge him.

"Hi," I said. His face lit up. Yes, you moron, I knew you were sitting there. "What was up with Zeke this morning?" It's been bothering me since breakfast. Normally, those three never separate. They're like… Siamese triplets or something. Seriously, they hunt babes together, they study together (haha, those guys, study?), they do EVERYTHING together. I wouldn't be surprised if they went to the loo at the same time. Oh well… let's see what's wrong with 1/3 of the duo…

---:Random:---

What was wrong with Zeke? Well I'm not entirely positive myself. I'll just give her a cookie cutter answer, "He just didn't get enought sleep and he left a book in the dorm so he had to go back and get it." I smiled to assure that my story was true and that I wasn't lying to her.

I hope she doesn't detect the slight twitch that occurs in my mouth when I am smiling and lying at the same time. I was never any good at multi-tasking. Once I tried to talk and hu- no, bad example. I am trying to not be perverted. Wait, since when? I never said I wouldn't be a perv. Oh well, I won't even try to attempt that one, but I'm not going to finish that train of thought, other than saying that I didn't work out so well. I need to find out what is wrong with Zeke-y.

She is looking at me questioningly. Please let her believe me. I really don't care if she believe me because there are VERY few ways she could get anything out of me. Not that there is much to get out because I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! Okay, I know some things, but not about this situation. I guess if she wanted to find out nothing she could...No stop while you're ahead, Halid.

Wait, why does she even care? I'm not going to ask her, that would seem like I actually care, which I do. She doesn't know that though...

---:Jyllian:---

Damn him. Guys are such jerks. They lie. Boys lie. It's the truth. You can just tell. His mouth is having spasms and his eyes are nervous. Wait a minute… why am I paying that close attention to him? Nevermind… He's lying. What if Zeke's in real trouble? … He probably is. He probably told them not to tell, so they're being all 'Yo, my bro,' and not telling anybody. Now Zeke's going to end up seriously injured. Great. I have to figure out what's going on.

….Okay, that was a really long train of thought. But there is something up with Zeke. I just know it. Screw the whole 'he didn't get sleep' theory. That never works on girls, you'd think he'd know this by now… But I guess not. He'll tell me eventually. Oh, I know… I'll work my charm! It seems to work on him.

"So," I said, crossing my legs. I scooted further toward him and smiled. "I saw Court looking at Kemp weirdly today. Do you anything about it?" I blinked and flipped my hair over my shoulder. Let's see if he'll crack.

Please crack, Random!

---:Random:---

That is all I have to say. I could react to her, but I choose not to. I know she wants me, but she isn't going to get what she wants by flipping her hair and scooting closer to me. As much as I like this new more flirty Jyllian, I know she is doing this on purpose.

"I don't know anything about Court, I don't even know her, really. I doubt Kemp even knows she exists, sorry to be harsh, but it's the truth. He is into...well sluts to tell the truth and I doubt that's what Court is. I guess that's what can be expected from a man-whore, huh?" I smirk at her apparent shock from me calling my friend such a thing.

"What? He admits he's player. It's that big of a deal. He enjoys going from girl to girl, so it's not going to make it go away be pretending it doesn't exist." I smile at her and move my face closer, so my nose is almost touching hers. "Attempting appeal to my hormones isn't going to get anything out of me, by the way." I smile as sweetly as possible and pick up the book she has been reading: Pride and Prejudice.

"I liked this book, are you enjoying it?" I look up to see her shocked expression. Apparently she wasn't expecting me to really read muggle books. Oh well, her problem for underestimating me, like I said before, I'm not stupid.

---:Jyllian:---

Again, I'll start out with: Damn him. He thinks he's so smart. He's got the "I've read more muggle books than you" act down. I glared at him. I'm not even going to answer him. But on to a more important subject: Why isn't my seduction working! It used to work all the time. Of course, I've only known him for a little over a day… But still! He's a guy. Why isn't it working? Why, I ask you, why! Grr… I hate this boy more than I hated him yesterday. Which was a lot.

I glared at him again and scooted back into my seat where I was comfortable. I crossed my arms over my chest, but I kept my legs crossed. I don't even know why I'm so upset… Life at Hogwarts isn't the carefree holiday it used to be. I sighed inside. There's got to be something I can do to make him tell me about Zeke. I have a few plans. Plan A: do the seductive thing again. It used to work, maybe it will work again. Plan B: ask him. Sounds simple, but it's much harder than it seems. When you ask someone a question, it makes you vulnerable. I don't like to be vulnerable. Plan C: leave. Eventually, he'll come and find me. Plan D: There is no Plan D, I just decided to put it in here. I think I'll go with Plan A. Haha, I love it. I've never gotten to be flirty before! But now that I know it works (most of the time), I think I'll use it more often!

I pouted and slowly stood up, never letting my gaze leave his eyes. He did have beautiful eyes, after all. "Random?" I asked in the sexiest voice I could, which wasn't hard – not to sound conceited. Haha. "Why won't you tell me about Zeke?" I walked over to the couch he was sitting on paused momentarily. He got a different look in his eyes, but I don't know what it was. I flipped my skirt up a little, and took a seat on his knee. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pouted again. "Please tell me?"

---:Random:---

Oh, my Lord. When did Lamm turn into uber-slut? She must have eaten something funny. The way she is acting now, totally what I would go for, if it weren't Lamm. I'll just pretend like I'm buying it. I reach up and run my finger now her arm. No chicken skin, that's a good thing. I like that. Although, if she had chicken skin, she would still be hot...Okay that's just my...hormones talking. Yes, hormones...I smirked in a way I happened to know made me look "yummy".

I continued to stroke her arm with my finger, "Sorry, baby, I can't do that." I leaned in closer to her, still stroking her arm, "Mainly because that's none of your business." I picked her up so she was standing in front of me. "If you would like to continue your act anyways, I'd be delighted, but only if you really acted like this," I stood, too, wrapping my arm around her small waist. "Which I know you don't."

I walked away, leaving her in metaphorical dust. I took my leave from the Common Room, but not before adding, "I'll see you at ten for patrolling." I made my way to Gryffindor tower, I was hoping Zeke was too upset to eat anything at dinner that night.

---:Jyllian:---

That's it. No more seductive-ness for Jyllian. Stupid move. Now, he thinks that HE has the upper hand. Which is not good. He doesn't have the… oh God, he does. He has the upper hand. Over me! No, no, no… that does not work for me. I shrieked and went to my room. I greeted my eagle owl with a pet on the nose.

"Hey, hun, how've you been?" I asked her. She's a very, very beautiful bird. I got her for my birthday a few years back. I named her Corel, after my bestest best friends ever.

_Ari and Court –_

_Meet me in the Prefect's bathroom as soon as you get this. The password: bluegrass. See you there! _

_-Jyll_

I tied my letter to Corel's leg, sent her out the window, and headed down to the Prefect's bathroom.

---:Random:---

I enter the Gryffindor Common Room to find it deserted. Enter Tumbleweeds. Just kidding, but not really. I walk up the Seventh Years Boy's dormitory. Not bothering to knock, I enter the room and find exactly what I'm looking for. Ezekiel Garnier in his bed, trapped from escaping the on coming conversation. I hear him start to mumble and I'm guessing it's because I'm there. He obviously doesn't want to talk, poor Zeke-y. He's going to talk anyways. Physical force will be employed if he doesn't snap out of it. Zeke turns away from me on his side, so I just jump on his bed turn him over.

"Talk," I tell him, in a demanding voice. I hear him grumble, "No." I continue to look at him expectantly. Zeke pretty much knows he can't get out of this one, but he wants to anyway. I start to poke him in the side until he swats my hand again. The poking continues and he finally sits up, ready strangle me, I'm sure.

"Okay, I'll tell you, just STOP POKING ME!" Zeke half-yelled, scooting back so he was leaning against the head board. I widen my eyes, waiting for him to start telling me his problems.

"Wait, should I get Kemp for these confessions?"

"NO! I mean, that's okay... I kind of don't want to tell anyone but you..." I quirked my eyebrow at his rejection of the Kemp-ster. We were a trio, we told each other everything, and I don't understand why he was being this way. Very strange behavior from Zeke's corner. I motion for him to keep going. "I just...I really like this girl... and she likes someone...who isn't me." I get it now. It makes sense!

"She likes Kemp, doesn't she? Who is it, Zeke? I really think you should stop being a prick and tell Kemp this, so he doesn't go after the girl you like because he doesn't know you like her... He wouldn't do that, if you didn't want him to, we are your best friends. We have a pact. Remember?" He nodded.

"It's Court Jamison. I've liked her since...Fourth Year? I recently found out that she has a thing for Kemp...I guess I should tell him, but I don't know how I would go about it. It's hard to tell one of your best friends that you are mad at him because some girl likes him..." I looked down in defeat and I smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"He'll understand, he's more horny that both of us. He'll just think that you want in her pants and he'll try to help you get her, I promise. Just tell him, alright, budd-o?" I smirked because I had Zeke laughing again. A laughing Zeke is a happy and there for good Zeke. Go me. Again, I rule ALL! "Well, I've gotta go now, see you later. Remember, TELL KEMP! If he doesn't know by breakfast tomorrow, I'm taking this into my own hands, got it?" He nodded, still smiling and I left, knowing that he'd be okay. I wonder were my little cupcake is at. I want to torment her mind. She's probably with her girlpals talking about how magnificent I am.

---:Jyllian:---

I waited in the bathroom until Arielle and Court showed up.

"So what's up?" Court asked me. There is something wrong with this girl. I know it.

"You guys know Ezekiel Garnier, right?" I asked them. Hopefully they'd know who I was talking about.

Court looked like she was thinking really hard. "Ezekiel… Ezekiel… ZEKE! Yes! He hangs out with Kemp! …and Random." She looked embarrassed. "Why do you care, Jyll?" Arielle nodded.

"Because there's something wrong with him. I just know it. Oh, yeah, Court? I was meaning to ask you something… What's going on with YOU lately? Please, please, please tell me you're not secretly in love with Random. Please tell me that's not the case!" Arielle nodded again. She's a very agreeing person.

"Not… Random… More like…" she coughed a word, but we all heard what it was anyway.

"Kemp!" Arielle shouted. Oh my God. She DOES love Kemp! That's so weird… so, so weird… Ew, that's like… gross. Kemp is a player – Random told me! He likes sluts! Random also told me that. Court's not a slut. Random told me that, but I already knew that little tidbit. Where is the little know-it-all, anyway?

---:Random:---

Where is she? Hm...I wonder how I can scramble her brain now...I have to go to the loo... Yes! The Prefect's Bathroom. I love you Prefect Bathroom. I mumble the password, "bluegrass" and enter the restroom. In front of me are three different girls. I'm a genius. My bladder must love me. It led me right to my prey. I'm a predator. On the prowl. First, I must use the facilities. I enter a stall and do my business. I walk over to the sinks and the girls still haven't moved, obviously too shocked to do anything. I would be shocked too if my beautiful self walked into the same bathroom as them to use the toilet. They aren't talking anymore. I guess I shocked the breath out of them.

I dry my hands and walk over to the group of girls. I smile charmingly and wrap my arms around Lamm's waist and trace circles on her hip. She had tensed up so I move my mouth closer to her ear and nip at it, asking, "What's up, Jylli?"

---:Jyllian:---

Okay, ew. This boy has some serious problems. He's biting me. Is that a good thing? No, I don't think that's a good thing. Oh my God, what am I going to do? Look at Court and Arielle's faces! I know they just want to either crack up laughing hysterically or scream of terror. Personally, I go for the latter. This is just literally disgusting. It makes me want to kis- no. It makes me want to KICK him. Yes, that's right. Well, hey, two can play this game.

"Nothing much, Ranny, dear." I almost die of laughter inside. Ranny dear? Wow, I am inventive.

---:Random:---

Okay, she's going along with it. This is good, I might be able to get something out of this...Oh well... Ranny Dear, that's what my fan girls call me. I'll have to investigate that one later. Oh well, let's keep on with the charade, shall we? I look at her friends. Hehe...

"You must be Court, I've heard tons about you. I have no idea who you are, but I'm sure you're a wonderful person," I smile at them, even as the unidentified glares. Most likely because I don't know who she is. I turn back to Lamm and nuzzle her ear. "Why are there other people here? We were going to meet. I'm not normally into that, but if you like it that way, I can deal. If you're willing to share me with two other girls." Damn, this girl is quite a bit shorter than me, so I have to lean down to do anything. I don't really care though, it's fine. I like short girls. They are fun. I twirl her hair in my fingers and make her face me, then bury my head in the crook of her neck and began nuzzling that, too, just to make her uncomfortable in front of her friends.

---:Jyllian:---

OH MY GOD! Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew. Fallllllllllahsdlfhksd! I can't even handle this kind of disgusting-ness. It's indescribable! I shivered… disgusting. But, hey, who would've known that a guy with a heart like THAT would be so warm… It's kind of- WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING! No… no… Nuh-uh.

"Arielle, Court, could you – er… leave us, please?" I asked sweetly. I smiled at them as they left cautiously. They were whispering to each other. I could only imagine what they were saying. I sighed.

"What was that about, Random!" I yelled at him once they were out of earshot.

---:Random:---

"What was what about? I didn't do anything. Speaking of which, only my fan girls ever call me Ranny dear. Are you a member of my fanclub? I wouldn't have pinned you as one, but you never know...Plus I thought I'd done all of the best looking ones...I guess not, eh?" I smirked at her apparent outrage. Apparently I am either incredibly right or disastrously wrong. I'm hoping for the first one, but that wouldn't make sense. She would have given in by now if she were...

Oh god, she has that look on her face again. I'm going to be yelled at. Not again. All this girl ever does it yell, in a not nice way. I can't do anything right in the eyes of this one. Everybody else seems to think what I do is just fine. Hell, I even think what I do is just fine. No, I don't want to be yelled, oh well. I'll just have to endure, won't I? I'm a man, I can do this.

---:Jyllian:---

I opened my mouth to yell at him, but nothing came out. I couldn't do it. Why couldn't I do it? He just totally embarrassed me in front of my friends. He deserves a good yelling at. But… I can't do it. I looked up at him, I have to look up because he's like a frickin' giant. I looked into his eyes. Did I mention that he has beautiful eyes? I moved my face closer to his and stopped. What am I doing? What am I doing? This is so… I sighed.

---:Random:---

She stopped coming closer...she started coming closer more importantly. I reach over and felt her forehead with my hand. She didn't FEEL warm, but who's to say she isn't? It just hasn't shown yet. Maybe she has West Nile virus. You can get that and not have symptoms. Although I don't think this is a symptom of West Nile...Oh well. I'll have to ask her if she is okay, in order to actually find out.

"What you aren't going to yell at me for humiliating you? You feeling alright? I have a feeling you aren't. Maybe you ate something bad...Do you need to go lie down? I can help you get back to Head's Rooms, if you need it..." I said, concerned. This would seem, to the normal person, like I actually care if something wrong with her. When, in fact, I do not. It is just really freaking me out that she isn't yelling at me, and then we she can't yell she goes to kiss me and then stops. Do I care? Most definitely NOT. Not my problem she is confused her own feelings of, what I'm sure are, extreme lust towards yours truly.

New prospect. What if she is actually developing _feelings_ for me... How would I deal with that? I know that there have been a few girls that I've "dated" that actually liked me and didn't just want to be screwed by me, but I never really spent any time with those girls because they scared me...Is that how I am? Is that why I am the way I am? I'm afraid of feelings? I don't want girls to actually like me because maybe, just maybe I'm afraid of...actually liking her back...there for leading to...commitment…

Nah, that's not it.

---:Jyllian:---

I took a deep breath. His face was still just centimeters away from mine. What are you doing, Jyllian? Why are you doing this? Why are you do- I didn't just do that. I DID not just do that! I couldn't have just done that… No, I will not accept it. No. I opened my eyes, which has closed without my consent, to find Random's face in complete shock, as was mine. Oh. My. God. I did just do that. Why did I just do that? WHY! Holy crap…

I stumbled away while Random just stood there like the idiot he really is. I walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror. Why did you do that, Jyllian? He's never going to let you forget this one. Never. You're basically in his debt forever, unless you want the entire school finding out what you just did. Smooth move. NOT.

As if my life wasn't horrible already, I just HAD to go and kiss Random Halid

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**Authors' Notes:** Review and we'll give you a cookie! 


	4. Olive Juice

**Disclaimer: **We don't and never will own Harry Potter. We're getting over it, so should you.

**Authors' Notes:** Sorry this one took so long. I was kind of... boycotting it, if you you will. Here you are, Chapter Four. This is the title chapter, I guess... Yeah.

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**Olive Juice**

Chapter Four: _Olive Juice_

---:Random:---

Oh my god. Oh my GOD. OH MY GOD! She just kissed me. Why did she kiss me? I know I look good, but she hates me. She walked away from me. I don't know where she is because I haven't turned around yet from shock. That was...amazing. I can't believe that just happened. Another point for the MACHINE! I knew I'd get her eventually. I just didn't think that SHE would kiss ME. Oh well, girls that take initiative turn me on. I'm not going to let this one get away, but I'm not going to pursue it right now. I want to torment with my sexiness. My lean torso pressed against hers is exactly what she wants, and she isn't going to get it...yet. I will draw this out as long as humanly (or hormonally) possible. I finally turn around and see her staring at herself in the mirror. Oh look, the no longer Prude Wench is splashing herself with water, well her face, but close enough.

I can't find words that seem right in this situation. Leave it up to her to talk, yes that's excellent. I'll do that. I lean against the wall next her sink and stare at her, smiling in kind of a smirky way. I may not say anything at all. If she just looks at me, I'll walk away. Yes, leaving, AGAIN! I'm getting good at that. Lamm has finally looked up, but as soon as she did so, she looked at the ground. I'm assuming she doesn't know what to do in this situation. I'll be leaving in the near future. Very near.

---:Jyllian:---

Jyllian, you are the most idiotic girl on this planet. Why would you go and do something like that? Why? Because you're an idiot. Look, he's just WAITING for you to look up at him. I looked up, but then I looked back down. I can't even look at him anymore. Gah, this is definitely going to ruin the whole "working together" situation the Heads are supposed to have going for them. Since when did Professor Dumbledore find joy in making students miserable? Surely that was his intent when he placed Random and I in a close-working situation. He just KNEW that we'd bite each other's heads off. Apparently, that's not the case. Way to go, you moron! What did you get yourself into? I took another deep breath. Just go away, Random… just walk away. I looked up at him again and waited. Something's gotta happen sometime.

---:Random:---

Obviously she wants me to go away. That was, of course, my original intent, but not anymore. I smirk, knowing that my being here is bothering her beyond all reason. "I imagined our first kiss to be a little more romantic than that, Jyllian, but I guess it had to happen sometime." She blushing. Hard core. Gryffindor red, is what we are talking about here. She is RED. I guess I must have said something. Maybe mentioning recent events of kissing me are a little hard for her...She was the one that did the kissing. She broke away so fast I couldn't react. Damn woman. She is so problematic. Still staring at the ground. I know I look better than the ground, why can't she look at me instead? I will change that...hehehe... I place my hand under her chin and force he face up, and her eyes. I step closer to her. She tenses up again. Why does she always do that?

"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything. I just don't think the ground is quite as nice to look at as me, that's all. Personally, I wasn't aware that I had to compete with the ground to be looked at by girls," I smirk, waiting for her reaction.

---:Jyllian:---

Again, I was speechless. What are you supposed to say to something like that? I can imagine it now: "Oh yes, Random, I'd love to look at your wonderful face." – HA! Like those words would ever leave my mouth. But, really, what should I say? There's nothing TO say… there's no words to describe what I'm feeling right now. … Maybe if I just keep quiet, he'll say something. Please say something, Random…

---:Random:---

I stare at her in boredom. Yes, boredom. As nice to look at as she is, she is boring me. I sigh. This may be a time for my exit. I take my hand out from under her chin and turned. I started walking away, leaving Jyllian Lamm behind me, again. I can't count how many times I've done this to her in the last two days. Many times. I do have to stay in control. Not that I wouldn't anyways. I am the one with the p- No. Once again. I think of very bad things when I'm all on my own. I think of bad things when I'm with other people too, but this is especially bad. I have no one will keep me distracted and there for I am reduced to conceited and perverted thoughts. I have fun with myself though. Wait...that sounds bad... I don't, like, touch myself or anything. I just have fun, IN MY HEAD. Maybe I'll include her in my leaving.

Without turning I call back, "Are you coming, or are you going to continue ogling at the ground?"

---:Jyllian:---

That little son of a- wait, he wants me to come with him? Why? Why would he want me to come with him? That's really stupid of him. What time is it? I glanced at the clock on the wall. A little after seven. Why is there a clock in the bathroom? Oh well. He's still standing there. He's serious. He actually invited me to go with him. It would be a pleasant change from being left in the dust all the time. He shrugged and started walking. I guess he gave up on waiting for me… this isn't good!

"Hey! Halid! Wait up!" I yelled chasing after him. This is not a good image to present. Me chasing after a guy. I bet he's just _loving_ this. I can't complain if he makes some snide remark about it. I walked right into this one. I hate it when I do that. Maybe I should have had Court and Arielle stay. I mean… this probably wouldn't have happened if they were here. Eventually, the Mutant, and when I say mutant I mean Random, would have left and we would have gotten to finish our little girl chat. But no, I had to make them leave. What is wrong with me? I need to curl up and die before I do something else that will cause emotional harm.

---:Random:---

Ha HA! She is chasing after me. I guess that is due, in part, to me inviting her and then walking away...Still, she is chasing after me. Halid, she insists on using my last name at the most random times. Damn word. That's the only problem with have a name that can also be descriptive word. Let's analyze this for a minutes. Random Halid. Random, good strong name (when it's not being used as description of spontaneity). Halid. I don't know were that name came from, but I've always been fond of it. I, interestingly enough, don't have a middle name. Oh well, back to the REAL story. Lamm has, by this time, caught up to me. We are out of the bathroom and walking down the halls. I'm not really sure where...Oh great. My stomach just rumbled. I'm getting strange looks from the peanut gallery...aka Lamm. I laugh it off and look down at my stomach.

"I guess I'm hungry..." I smiled again, at Lamm this time. It was genuine smile. "What time is it? I need to feed myself. I'm a growing boy. I need food." I didn't actually have to ask what time it was, since I had a watch of my own, but I was feeling too lazy to look at it.

---:Jyllian:---

"It's after seven," I told him. "Dinner's over." Oh great, I spent my dinner talking with the Mutant. How completely great. But, oh, being Head Girl has it's advantages. "Follow me," I told him. He just stood there looking at me weirdly. I grabbed his hand and tugged on it in the direction I was going. "Come on!"

Maybe holding his hand wasn't a very good idea. How would I know though? I've never been in this situation before. I'd never would have imagined I'd be in the this situation with Random. I also never would have imagined that my first kiss would have been MY doing with some guy that I obviously can't stand. Note to self: NEVER let it leak that that was my first kiss. He'd never let me forget it. Wow, this guy was heavy. He was hardly moving his feet and dragging him was not easy. We finally reached the portrait of the fruit. He looked at me questionably. "Well, here we are," I stated. We stood there for a little while his mind got into gear. I looked down and realized that we were still holding hands. I let go immediately and occupied myself by tickling the pear. The portrait opened and revealed one of my favorite sights in the world. House elves preparing food.

---:Random:---

Oh damn, she let go. I was hoping that my big, strong hand would still have hers in it. Her loss. Oh god, we must be in the kitchens. FOOD! I let her go in first, but need food. A house-elf came up to us and asked if we wanted anything to eat. DOES HE EVEN HAVE TO ASK! I think not. I nod vigorously and he scurries away to make us something. Jyllian has started a conversation with a house-elf. I guess I can't talk to her...Maybe I'll find a house-elf for myself. The little house-elf that offered us food told us to sit down and eat. I did so immediately, not bothering to wait for Lamm. I love pasta. House-elves really are a gift from God. I have them at my house, but I'm not allowed to talk to them. I would if I could, they are perfectly splendid creatures…from what I gather. I eat until I am full then slouch in my chair. I will have to thank Lamm. I close my eyes and lean my head against the back of the chair.

"Hey, Lamm? Thanks, for bringing me to the kitchens," I open my eyes again, and smile at her.

---:Jyllian:---

I hate him. He's too polite. Guys are supposed to be pigs. Grrr. "You're welcome, I'm surprised you didn't know where it was anyway." Since, apparently, he knows everything. I move my foot under the table that he and I are seated across from each other at. It hit something hard. I assumed it was the table leg so I rested it there, not bothering to move it. I continued to eat, not noticing the look on his face.

Suddenly, the table leg moved. Are they supposed to do that? I looked under the table to find that my foot had not been resting on a table leg at all, but another foot. Random's foot to be exact. This is retarded. Why does stuff like this always happen to me? It's just because I'm inexperienced. Well, it's just a foot, what can he possibly see in a foot. Court, Arielle, and I stand on each others' feet all the time. We don't think anything of it. It is a little weird that we stand on each others' feet, but hey, what can I do? I tuck my foot under my chair and continue eating once again. I really don't want to see what is on his face. It's probably some smug look that I'm not going to like at all.

---:Random:---

Okay, I once think she realized that the thing she had basically been playing footsie with was my leg she got scared and stopped. I can't say that I minded terribly. She is putting a lot of moves on me of late. Maybe I should tell her that she doesn't have to... I'd be perfectly willing to let her do anything she wanted to me. Okay. That sounded weird, too. It kind of is, but not really. I stretch my own, longer legs, under the table and find hers. She is wearing a skirt so I run my foot up her shin, keeping my face relaxed and un-smirky. I close my eyes and rest my hands on my stomach. I have a nice stomach, really flat and well toned.

I crack my eyes to see her reaction. Oh yes. I am in control. She is uncomfortable, but she isn't doing anything about it. Lamm so likes this. I wrap my foot around her leg so it's brushing her calf. I smile at her in a pleasant way.

"Do you think we should head back to the Head's Quarters?" I ask.

---:Jyllian:---

Okay, he wants to go back to the Head's Quarters. This could mean two things. One of them is very, very bad and one of them is good. 1) He could be tired or full or something. He could want to just get some rest. 2) He could want to… Ugh. I shivered at the thought. Yeah, totally not thinking about option two at all.

Okay, so now I know what he supposedly wants to do, what do I say? 'Oh yes, Random, take me back to the quarters!'? I don't think so! How about, 'Um… okay.'?

I think I'm safest with the latter. "Um… okay," I said, trying to sound as smart as I possibly could. I don't think acting dense is such a good idea around this guy. He's like the only guy I know that actually reads. He actually reads more than I do. It's kinda scary. Oh, it looks like he's getting up. Ta ta, house elves!

---:Random:---

I wave good-bye to the house-elves, thanking them for the wonderful pasta. I really enjoyed that pasta. I don't know what they put on it to make it taste that way, but it was good. Yummy pasta. Okay, Lamm and I were heading towards the Head's Rooms and all I can think about is pasta? Does that really make sense? Well, yes, I suppose it does actually… I could be thinking about the leg interaction that had occurred under the table in the kitchens. Maybe I should do something to make her uncomfortable. Holding hands was nice; I think I'll try that again. Never before have I ventured into the world of holding hands or hugging or snuggling, just shagging. Or snogging, but still. I don't think that makes me a bad person, does it? Just horny. Which we've already established I am.

Glancing down, I reach my hand towards and grasp it. I interlock our fingers and keep walking like nothing is different about our situation. She was obviously not expecting this. Again, I have the upper hand. I always do, why should this be any different? It shouldn't, and it isn't. No pulling away of the hand has occurred, so I'm assuming that she is enjoying this. I know I am.

---:Jyllian:---

He's holding my hand. Why does he do stuff like that? Oh, I know why. He's attracted to my devilishly good looks. Oh my god, I'm sounding like him. Urgh! But he IS attracted to me, I just know it. This hand-holding thing is kinda weird. I never really understood it. I mean, you just put your hand in someone else's hand. I did this with my mum and dad when I was a young witch and was crossing the street. It's not a very intimate gesture then, what makes it change? It's not like I need help crossing the corridor. Oh well, no point in arguing. This guy doesn't do anything he doesn't want to. And he doesn't let people argue with him. He always wins. It's stupid. Oh, look! Sir Widdleworth III. How I love to see you!

---:Random:---

She doesn't seem thrilled by this gesture. I guess it isn't really intimate or at all showing of liking. Oh well, we walk into the Common Room and I'm still holding her hand. I check the clock on the mantle, and it's about 7:30. I walk over to the couch, pulling her behind me. When I sit down she gets pulled, rather ungracefully, down next to me. Haha, she's glaring at me. That's comical. Some people just shouldn't glare. It's funny to see her doing so. Maybe she doesn't realize that, even though she glares all the time, she shouldn't. It just looks like she is trying to go to the bathroom and is failing. Constipation. Haha, I just said constipation. Sorry, I'm still a boy, and there for the word constipation is humorous. I let go of her hand and she just kind of stares at it for a second.

I lean closer, "Are you attracted to me, Lamm?" I am curious because it very much seems like she is. Who would I be to deny a girl what she wants, especially if that thing she wants is me. She looks shocked. Oh look, she's gulping. I think I may have found out something I wasn't supposed to. I narrow my eyes slightly, to look "sexier".

---:Jyllian:---

Am I attracted to him? That's a stupid question! The obvious answer is… um… oh crap! He's stumped me. This is completely lame. Maybe it was a good question after all. Uh… what do I say? Gah! I seem to be in the situation a lot lately. First the childish hand holding, the pulling me down without injury, thank God, and now the stupid question. Maybe he does have a small mind. But whatever… I'm really making no sense now. I need to answer his question. He's just staring at me. It's very uncomforting. It needs to stop. STOP STARING AT ME! Um… ahh, yes, the ultimate answer!

"Maybe."

---:Random:---

Maybe. I got a maybe. There is no maybe. Anytime someone says maybe they really mean yes. She digs me. I knew it. Maybe I can finally get somewhere with her now. Mostly likely she won't let me, even though she is attracted to me. I move my face closer, effectively causing her to move her head back a little. Again, I leaned my head forward and she moved back. I kept doing this until she was backed into the arm of the sofa, wondering where else to go. She had nowhere else to go. Unless I let her get away, which wasn't going to happen. If you haven't guessed I had my hands on either side her and she was at my mercy. I moved closer. My breath was tickling her ear.

"I'll take that as a yes," I whispered, my voice lightening. As I pulled back I brushed my lips against her ear, causing her to shiver. I leaned against my own arm of the couch. "Now that we've go that out of the way, my mom told me to invite someone to my sisters wedding. She told me I should invite my fellow Head, to build a working relationship. Since I know that you are attracted to me and I know that I can stand you, would you like to go with me?" I smirked, knowing what the answer would be.

---:Jyllian:---

"Um… okay?" Wait, what did I just agree to? I totally wasn't listening? Oh well, it couldn't have been that important. Probably just something like, "I'll meet you in the common room at ten for patrols," or something. But then again, he probably would have left by now if that's what he said… yeah, crap. What did he say? It's not like I can ask him. Then he'd know I wasn't paying attention to what he said. But then again, who could? He was like two centimeters away from me! Yeah, not exactly a comfortable situation if you know what I mean. If I mentioned that I wasn't listening, he'd take it as, 'Ooh, she was staring at my wonderful face. My gift from God to all womanhood.' Uh–huh. Because I want to go through that again. We all know I've had enough. But still, I wish I knew what I agreed to. Oh no, what if I agreed to follow him into his bedroom and… ugh… yeah, I wouldn't do that. Even subconsciously. Yes, he's that big of a pompous ass.

"Hey – Random, what about you? Are YOU attracted to ME?" I asked. I don't know why, though. It's apparent that he's just DYING for me to fall all over him.

---:Random:---

She agreed. She is so dazed right now that I doubt she even knows what she agreed to. I mean I had been RIGHT THERE, like, five seconds ago. If I had gotten that close to myself and I were female, I would have an orgasm on the spot. I'm sure all females do, on the inside. Which I guess is where those things happ-stop. Stop now. That was bad. I can't believe I was just talking about or-. I'm not going to say that word. No. Bad word. It's a swear word. Not that swear words really seem to be any different from regular words for me. I don't use the "f" word though. It is very crude… Yes some would say that I, in general, am very crude so it shouldn't matter, but it does. It's one of those things that I just don't do, like raping people.

Now she wants me to tell her if I am attracted to her. Do I? I don't think so. "Well I think you are attractive, but I can't say that I'm _attracted_ to you. What would you do if I _was_ attracted to you?"

---:Jyllian:---

I hate him. There really is no point in his questions. He's just avoiding them. Well, I suppose he did answer. He is SO lying. That or he's a horny bastard. Which is also a reasonable explanation. Personally, I'd like to go with the first one. Well, the only thing I can do about it is MAKE him attracted to me. Well, at least make him admit it because I totally knows it's true.

"So… you're NOT attracted to me? I find that _very_ hard to believe." He was still quite close to me, so I draped my leg over his and put my arm around his shoulder. "If you're not attracted to me, what was with the leg/foot contact back in the kitchens?" I asked putting on my pouty face again. I love being slutty! I should definitely do this more often.

---:Random:---

Great. She wants me to admit something that isn't true. This is the problem with females. They admit they like you and expect the feeling to be returned immediately. Now she is trying to slut if out of me. Not gonna work, sorry Jyll. She is so strange I don't understand women. She is flirty when she wants something, and only then. I can't say that I mind terribly when is like this, but you know, it's not how she really. The way she really is, is just fine.

"What was with the foot/leg action? I was just being a hormonal guy. I don't like footsie. It's irritating. Especially when some skank starts trying to get you to play, too and then she doesn't get the hint that you don't want to," I sighed and looked at her directly, "or when something is footsie-ing away and they don't realize it." She is blushing now. I push her leg and arms away, standing up.

Brushing off my clothes I tell her, crossly, "Stop acting like a skank, you aren't like that. I would probably like you if you didn't keep doing things like that. Changing your personality to get what you want, it doesn't fly with me. I'll meet you out her a little before ten to patrol." I leave the Common Room in search of Kemp and Zeke. I need to talk to them. I'm…confused…

---:Jyllian:---

Okay, you know that whole 'do this more often' thing? Well, let's not. Okay! Haha. Good plan, Jyll. Best one you've had since you've arrived here at Hogwarts in fact. I think I'll just leave him alone. Not bother him. Let him blow off some steam. Well, at least until ten tonight. But after that – complete ignoring-ness will be going on. Yes, that's right. I'm making this my vow now. I will not talk to Random Halid unless it has to do strictly with Head's business. That is my final word.

---:Random:---

Patrolling that night was quiet, to say the least. Neither one of us really said much to the other for anything other than one exception. Head's business. I can't really say that I minded all that much. She was acting in a way that I didn't like, so it made sense that we reached an agreement not to talk to each other, without actually saying anything. If we both went to do something, like shower, I would just walk out of the bathroom, letting her go first. Don't get me wrong here. Not talking to people that I would like to shag isn't something I do terribly well. I was dealing just fine though. Don't think for a minute that not talking to her really affected me, because it didn't. The girls of Hogwarts were a great comfort to me. I seem to be that way with women. They just can't resist me.

The only problem with this not talking thing was my sister's wedding. True, I could invite someone else, but I think Lamm is the kind of person my mum and pops would want me to bring to a wedding. Not one of the sluts I'd been spending my time with since arriving at Hogwarts. Agreeably they were fun, but not suitable for weddings. Since all we would end up doing together would be snogging while my sister and Jeb, her fiancé, were cutting the cake.

---:Jyllian:---

My plan has been going well ever since that night. I've hardly talked to him at all. Except at his sister's wedding, which was fun anyway. I got to meet her fiancé who was utterly delicious. Just kidding! Besides, he's married now… I've been spending a lot of time with Arielle and Court without much thought of Random Halid. We, meaning Arielle and I, have been working hard in our studies, while Court has been her usual self; chasing boys and whatnot. Seriously, she is SUCH a flirt. But anyway, life's been great! Just ab fab… Super de duper. No more weird guys have been following me around, and all is normal again. This is why I came back to Hogwarts; to have a life like that. I love it.

---:Random:---

My mother is a very conniving woman. She somehow found out that, despite our friendly behavior at my darling sister's wedding, Lamm and I aren't exactly on good terms. This does not please the woman who gave birth to me, and I now am being forced to fix this if I ever want to return home again. I have not, however, been told this last part directly, but I'm pretty sure my mum would have no regrets about enforcing it, were she to hear of the idea. It is now my job to patch the rift. My parents were enchanted my dear Jyllian. I'm sure they are forcing me to make things better because they think that we were in love or something and then I messed it up. Always assuming, and normally doing so the wrong way. The wrong way meaning they always assume that I've done something wrong. I do things wrong, but I didn't screw this one up, in both senses of the word "screw"!

I walk into the Head's Common Room and I don't see Lamm. I hope she is in her room. I just want to get this stupid thing over with. It isn't my fault that she went skanky and turned me off. I knock on her door and wait for it to be answered, that is, if she is actually in there.

---:Jyllian:---

I was writing my History of Magic essay in my room, I spend a lot of time in there lately, when I heard a knock on the door. One guess as to who it was. What could he POSSIBLY want? We were perfectly happy not speaking.

"Yes?" I called from the desk on the other side of the room. I was wearing my PJs. After all, it was Saturday, and there was nothing to do. Head duties had been stressful, so I decided to take a day of rest and relaxation, while working on my essay, of course. I couldn't fall behind. Random opened the door – aha, my prediction was correct. Who else would it be? – and looked around. I'm sure he saw me at the desk, but you could tell he was avoiding the whole speaking process.

---:Random:---

Well, buck up, man, just do it. It's not that hard. Damn. I don't just apologize for things. I really don't say "I'm sorry, I'm an asshole" all that often. Firstly, I don't tend to apologize and secondly, I don't usually call myself an asshole. I have done so on several occasions, but I really had been one on certain occasions. I didn't do anything wrong in this case, or at least according to me. Damn you mother, for sending me on a guilt trip. I can't just say "no" to my mother. She went through pain to put me on this earth and I have problems refusing things that she wants. That makes me sensitive, yes? I thought so. I mean, I'm perfect, there has to be sensitivity in there somewhere, right? I walk over to her desk, to see what she is doing: An essay, by the looks of it. Geez, it's awkward in here. I tend to be immune to awkwardness. It's one of my many talents.

"Listen, La- I mean…Jyllian. I'm…sorry if I…offended you in anyway. I just thought that maybe…we should…work things out so it isn't so…awkward. I feel badly that I acted the way that I did. I kind of sent you mixed messages and I shouldn't have done that. Thanks for going to my sister's wedding with me. My family liked you, if that makes you feel any better. Okay, I'll leave you alone now," I said this last bit quietly. I turned and shut the door behind me.

That was uncomfortable. She didn't even bother looking at me through all of that. When I opened the door she looked, but after that she showed no signs that she was actually still alive. She just sat there. I was pouring my heart out, by force of course, but still, I was ignored. I dislike that very much. I'm not supposed to be ignored. Take a look at me, this face doesn't get ignored!

---:Jyllian:---

That certainly was strange. Maybe I should have said something? Personally, I don't give a horse's ass whether he's happy or not. I really don't care if we ever talk again. Those are my true feelings. I don't care if Head Meetings are extremely awkward; I really don't. I really don't – okay, yes I do. These last few weeks have been utterly horrible. I mean, first I meet this guy that I hate. Within two days, he's like, charmed my heart to do fluttery circles whenever he touched me. He messes with me, and then yells at me. We don't talk and… it's horrible. I got up from my essay and started to open the door. I find him sitting on one of the couches.

"So, do you REALLY want to patch this thing up? Or are you just saying that?" I asked him, leaning against the doorway. I'm not a slut anymore. I promise. – that's what I want to tell him. But, obviously, I can't. Haha. That would be amusing. But NO! I will not say that. I haven't even touched a guy since we stopped talking. Except for maybe shaking Professor Dumbledore's hand. But that doesn't count. He looked up at me. I caught the sight of his eyes. His beautiful eyes. Gosh, I missed those eyes. Inside, I was turning to mush for absolutely no reason at all, but outside, I must have looked about fifty years older, with such a stony look on my face.

---:Random:---

I look her straight in the eye. Grey. Very nice. Do I really want to patch things? I guess I do. She is much more fun to seduce than the other girls at Hogwarts. She is the only one that actually ever put up a fight. I enjoy that fight. It makes my life more interesting. I stand and walk over to her. I am still looking straight into her eyes.

"I want to patch things up," I smiled, "It has nothing to do with the fact that my mother and father will disown me if I don't. Although, that will be a benefit of us talking again." I widen my smile, letting her know that I'm joking. "They really did like you, I'll have you know. I can't really say that I know why…Can you help me with that?"

---:Jyllian:---

Hm… his parents liked me. That's a plus! Haha. Probably because I'm NOT a slut like he accused me of being. I'm not, by the way. In case I haven't made that clear.

"I suppose I could try…" I said, not breaking eye contact with him. I'm going to do things right this time. I'm going to be good – be myself. I'll still continue up with my studies, of course. They'll always come first. Smarts before guys, that's what I say! Heh heh… maybe… wait! Yes! Of course they do! Yes. There's no question. Alright… so, I guess we're talking again? This is kind of weird. It's actually exhilarating, in fact. "Yeah, so, um, what do we do now?" I asked, my eyes leaving his and moving to the ground. Wow, he has big feet. Kinda like a duck. Haha – Duck Boy. He's a Duck Boy. That's pretty funny. But NO TIME FOR DUCK JOKES! We just started talking again, maybe I should be nice?

Nah…

---:Random:---

Well we could do THAT, but I don't think suggesting that would be so good. She would probably stop talking to me again. Then my mum would shoot me in a very bad place. She wouldn't think about not having grandchildren. I would go home explain that I got Lamm talking to me again then made a suggestion that she didn't like so she preceded to slap me and ignore me for the rest of the year. Leading, there after, to being ignored by Lamm for the rest of my life. I can't personally say that it really matters all the much to me, but apparently it matters to my mother. Why do women have to be so controlling?

"I guess we should just act normally. Unfortunately for you, Jylli, normal for me is perverted for the rest of the world. That meaning, you, sorry to say, but if we are going to 'patch' this up, you can't be a skank, got it?" I smiled, taking a strand of her hair in my hand, without breaking eye contact.

---:Jyllian:---

I almost started to glare at him, but then I realized that would just bring us back into where we were before. Which was not a good place to be. "I'm not a skank, Random," I managed to say. "Your mom is right to like someone like me! I mean, I am, after all, a wonderful girl!" I said, backing away from him and twirling around in a circle to display my beauticiousness. Even if we haven't been talking, his attitude seemed to have rub off on me. Good thing, or bad? I just can't tell. Haha. Oh well, I can be conceited, too. Just watch me! But I won't, because that would be mean. "I suppose I'll be able to put it up with your… perverted-ness, if I must. For your mother's sake, of course."

---:Random:---

I smirk, "Yes, my mum's sake. I don't think she's the only one that wants me to like you, though, is she?" I cocked my head to the side as she blushed. I wrapped my hand around her neck and pulled her closer to me. "I'm right, aren't I?" She gulped and I'm guessing it was not only the close proximity. Jylli, darling, seemed paralyzed. I guess I'll have to work on this.

"Have you lost your vocal chords, Jylli, or are you just choosing not respond? Either would be a very likely reason that you aren't saying anything." I know exactly why she isn't talking, but she will not know that I know. I'm guess she has probably figured out that I know, since she is looking so uncomfortable, but currently that is unimportant. I have the control in all situations involving females. Except my mother, but this girl wasn't my mother and she couldn't make me do anything I didn't want to! That's right. Take that! Who are you talking to? I don't know!

---:Jyllian:---

He always does this to me… it's like, a stupid effect. He's really close… really close… VERY close… I don't like this. Not if I'm not going to be slutty. I have to be normal… the normal me wouldn't care if a totally adorable guy was centimeters from me. Very uncomfortable, by the way.

"Er… well, I'd better get back to my essay. Professor Binn has it out for us this year, I swear!" I turned away slowly only breaking eye contact when I had to. I went into my bedroom and leaned up against the door. Ah…

---:Random:---

Well that effectively caused her to leave. I think I'll follow her. I go to her bedroom door and try to open it, but find that I can't. Great, she has either died from being so close to me or she is leaning against the door. Time to take the long route. I go into the bathroom through the outside door and twist the doorknob. Go Random. Way to think! I walk into her bedroom where she is, in fact, leaning against the door. Oh, her eyes are getting larger. If they get any bigger than that and they will threaten to bust out of the sockets, and that's just unnatural. I leave the bathroom door opened walk around her room, examining the pictures of her family and friends. One glance at the bed and I have to stop looking around, if you get the picture here. I think you do.

I turn towards her, my gaze unwavering, "You didn't answer my question, Jyll, I'm not going to leave you alone until you do. Now tell me, to my face, that my mother isn't the only one who wants me to like you." I walk over to the door and pull her up so she is standing. Standing always seemed like a good position. Sitting is awkward for most things except lap-dances… there are only like two options for lying down. Standing is the right position. Aware that she freezes up when I get too closer to her, I make sure that I don't stand too close to Lamm. "Come on, tell me."

---:Jyllian:---

Hm… I must think up a clever response to this one. 'No, you asshole, I love you'? Nah, too forward. How about… 'Why, Random, however could you think such a thought?'? Nah… too… stupid. Aha! I've got just the thing! Let's see if Mr. Know It All can figure this one out.

"Well, er," I said walking over to my bed and sitting down. I like my bed, it's very soft. Haha. It really is thought. It's a little too red for my taste, but hey, what can a girl do? So much better than those lame four posters in the dorms in the Gryffindor Tower. Haha – suckers! What else can I amuse myself with while I avoid the question? He is wearing quite nice pants today, isn't he? Hm… looks like they're from Gladrag's? Nah, that can't be it! He wouldn't shop there… especially not for jeans. Okay, well he's looking impatient now, I suppose I must answer him.

"Let's just say this: Olive juice." I smiled contently at my answer and laid down on my bed with my hands behind my head. This bed really was comfortable.

---:Random:---

Olive Juice? OLIVE JUICE? WHAT. THE. HELL! How the hell am I supposed to work with that? What the HELL does that even mean. Seriously, I'm basically asking her to tell me she likes me and all she can say for herself is "Oh, Olive Juice." GAH! How are men supposed to deal with women when they make up weird lingo for EVERYTHING! She's just lying there, acting like she hasn't totally ruined my attempts to get her to tell me she liked me for real. Devil spawn. Devil's Advocate, that one. Damn. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I guess I could just poke her until she tells me. Does that work on girls? It works on guys. Tickling could work. Only…I don't know where she's ticklish… That poses a problem for that one, no? I walk over to her bed. STOP THE FLOW OF PERVERTED MADNESS! She just continues staring up at her ceiling. I jump on her bed so I'm positioned behind her head. I move my head so it is directly above hers, blocking her view of the ceiling. I cock my head again.

"What does that mean, Jylli?" I ask her, making my voice as innocent at possible. She just stared up at me, like I'm not even there, only the ceiling. Jylli has a tendency to act like I'm not there. People don't DO that. Why does she?

---:Jyllian:---

Haha! So Mr. Smarty Pants isn't as smarty pants as he thinks he is. Yes! I've FINALLY said something he doesn't know about! I'm so proud of myself! I should get a medal or something. This is definitely an award-like circumstance. Yes, I believe it is. BRING ON THE GOLD!

"I don't know, Mr. I-Know-Everything, what do YOU think it means?" I'll give him his power. He obviously yearns for it. He can think whatever he wants. I'll just know the truth. This is completely great. I love it. You are a genius, Jyll, it's a wide-known fact. You can easily stump guys with references to food products!

But then there's this… position. I don't think I like it very much. He's sitting very close to my head, and… you know what I mean. It was uncomfortable. His face was mighty close to mine, again. I don't understand how this happens. It ALWAYS happens. We always end up centimeters apart. I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, but still, you've gotta admit it's strange…

---:Random:---

What do I think it means? I have NO idea! Why do you think I asked? I don't normally ask questions I already know the answer to. Okay, the mum isn't the only one who would me to like her question was an exception. I couldn't help asking that one. Jylli has to admit it sooner or later. Then we can have some fun and I can tell my mother that the "break-up" would be mutual. Unless…Oh god…What if she clung to me after we… I hate it when girls do that. They seem to think sex means something… Ha, that's a good one ladies.

"Um..Jylli? I don't know, that's why I asked. I am going to assume it means our conversations would go as follows:

Me: Is my mummy the only one that wants me to like you? (Meaning secretly: Do you like me?)  
You: Olive Juice! (Meaning secretly: No you Jackass, I love you!)"

"I'm right aren't I, Jylli?" I smirk; Once again, I have made her uncomfortable by our closeness. I move my face closer and make sure that my hands or on either side of her head. To and normal person, in her position, I am upside down. This is fun. I feel like a small child. Maybe I am a small child. If I hadn't made up our conversation, I would feel more like a small child…Oh well, collapse so that I am lying on her bed, curled up. I moved my hands and rested my head on her shoulder. The smell of her shampoo is very nice. I think I have mentioned this, but it's true.

---:Jyllian:---

I sighed. His head is abnormally close to mine. His head is on my shoulder. While I'm lying down. Is that not weird to anyone else? Aw well. I turn so his head falls off my shoulder but I am not facing him. I prop my head up no my arm and smile.

"It could mean that, OR it could mean, 'Maybe, I want to get to know you better,' OR, my personal favorite, 'Go to hell.'" I paused and looked at him. He has nice hair, too. "You choose, and if I were you, I'd tone down the confidence, or it most definitely is the latter." I smiled at him sweetly. But both him and I know that it meant, 'Haha, sucker!' – Still, I'm very glad about this Olive Juice situation. Eventually I'll explain it to him, but I'd like to have my fun with him first.

---:Random:---

We both know that she doesn't want me to go to hell. I happened to know that she would cry if I did go to Hell because then she couldn't see my gorgeous face on a regular basis. Or ever, really. Unless she were to join me in eternal damnation, which I don't think she would be too keen to do. I'm going for my version. The one where I get called a jackass then she tells me she loves me. After that we proceed to my room where we get really friendly. I hate myself. No, I don't, but I should not say things like that. Everything is an innuendo for me, isn't it? I enjoy myself, so it's fine.

I scoot off of her bed and walk towards the door into the Common Room. Turning, I smirk, "I don't care either way because you liking me won't affect my life. Sure, my mom will hate me if nothing happens between us, but you know what? I can deal with that. My mummy can't refuse her only son. If you don't want to like me, that's fine, I don't care. Have a nice night, Lamm." I smile and leave the room. I fall onto my own bed and began to read.

---:Jyllian:---

I have to finish my essay. Now that me and the Mutant are talking again, life is going to get stressful. Stressful isn't fun, mind you. I went back to writing, but I soon decided to give Arielle and Court a visit. I wrote them an owl telling them to meet me on the third floor near the stairs, got changed, and headed out of the my dorm. This is what girlpals are for. You can talk and talk and talk about whatever you want to.

* * *

**Authors' Notes:** Review my little friendlies! Please and thank you! 


	5. Bubble Gum

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah.

**Authors' Notes: **Here's another chapter. It's shorter because I haven't written in FOREVER, but yeah... just posting it in case y'all wanted to read it.

* * *

**Olive Juice**

Chapter Five: _Bubble Gum_

---:Random:---

I put my book down, my eyes having become tired. The clock tells me that I've been reading this book for almost three hours. No wonder my eyes are tired. This surprises even me, considering that my attention span isn't really that long. Ever. Since childhood people have always made fun of me because I can't stay focused one thing for too long. My parents even had me examined to make sure I didn't have ADD. I don't and never did, by the way. One would think that, as I got older, my attention span would become greater. It hasn't. Except for when I'm reading. Maybe that's what why I became such a book nerd. I was tormented for my painfully short attention span, and then I stumbled upon reading, the only thing I could really focus on. Of course, most people wouldn't know that I am a book nerd from my outer behavior.

I walk out into the Common Room and I figure that Lamm isn't here. Her bedroom door is open. She never leaves it open when she is in our quarters. Great, now I have no source of entertainment now. How incredibly sad for me. She is probably enjoying the fact that I can't use her as a source of entertainment, but that's because she is denying her lust for me. I will just have to do something else. What card games can I play? What's that muggle game? Solicetaire, Saltitaire….something like that. I dated a muggle-born who taught me how to play. It's surprising good fun. I find a deck of cards and deal them out.

---:Jyllian:---

I came back to the common room, after a little girl chat, to find Random playing cards. I didn't know you could play cards by yourself, maybe he's insane. That can't be a good sign. Oh well, I don't really care about his mental health.

I walked past him, smiling, and into my room. I shut the door behind me. I always do. I don't want him barging in on me. I still hadn't finished my History of Magic essay. Maybe I should work on that? When is dinner? It's gotta be soon… Did I mention that they don't put clocks in the dorm rooms? I mean, they have a clock in the Prefect's BATHROOM but not in our rooms?

I walked to my door and opened it. "Hey, Random, what time is it?" I asked. Surely, Mr. Know It All would know what time it was.

---:Random:---

Damn! I have to have played this game like, sixty times and I've only one maybe three times? Where the in hell is my black six? I need it and I don't have it! This seems to be happening to me a lot lately. I don't get what I want. Oh look, I can move this pile on top of this pile. YES! I have it! The black six that has been eluding me, I can win now! I would do a happy dance only Lamm is in the area now and that would not be a good scene. I shuffle the cards and deal them out again.

An ace! Yes! Without glancing up when she asks me what time it is, I reply, "Almost six, why?" This red jack can go over here on this black queen. Why do they have to go on opposite colors? That doesn't really make sense because they will end up on the matching suit anyways. Why can't you just make the piles in the right colors or the same suits? I don't think I will ever understand. Is this supposed to make the game harder?

---:Jyllian:---

He looks frustrated. His little self-on-self card game must not be going too well. "Because I'm hungry and I wondered when dinner was. Almost six, you say? You wanna head down?" I asked him. He could use a break from his game with his imaginary friend. Why can't he be normal and play exploding snap? Grr, I'm starving. Hurry up and answer me, Insanity Man!

---:Random:---

Stupid cards. I throw my draw pile cards down on the table and stand up. "After you, Lamm." She walks to the door and I follow, closing the door behind me. Wait, I open the door and the light is still on. I close the door again, slowly and right before the door closes the lights turn off. I swing the door open again and the light goes on. I continues this for several minutes, before realizing what I'm doing and the looks I am receiving. I close the door and continue to walk. "The...um...the light turns on the door is opened. They turn back off when the door is closed..." We exit into the corridor and begin walking.

---:Jyllian:---

When we got to the Great Hall we split up. I went to sit by Arielle and Court, while he sat by… his little posse thing. I actually don't know their names. I should do that. The only one I know is Kemp and Zeke, so I guess that's about it… but there's always these girls following them around… are THEY part of their posse? Ew… MAYBE they're groupies! Yes, that's what they are. Random simply wouldn't allow them to JOIN his group – they're all too busy pining after him to notice, though. I find it amusing. Ohp, look, Arielle is talking to me, I suppose I better pay attention.

"…so there has got to be a better way!" she finished, taking a bite of toast. "Got any ideas?" she asked me. Uh oh. Um… I can't just ask her, 'Hey, Elle, whatcha talkin' about?' – so, I'll just say… er…

"Um… none here, what about you Court?" I'm so glad it's not just me and Arielle! Court is a savior. Haha. I bet she wasn't paying any attention either… but I'm covered. Mwahaha! Sucks to be here. I looked down the table to Random. They were all laughing and eating. Then, out of nowhere, one of the girls that had been following him around came up behind him and started to kiss him. I didn't feel very hungry anymore…

---:Random:---

Uh…Okay. That was unexpected. Not entirely unwanted, but unexpected. I turn around on my bench and wrap my arms around her waist. I wonder what Lamm kisses like, when she isn't being stupid about kissing. Lamm's waist is thinner than this chick's. Wait, why am I thinking about Lamm while I'm kissing some hot chick? I break way and turn around on the bench and continue eating. That was very strange. Something is very wrong with me. That girl is still standing there. I have no idea why she is trying to snog me while I'm trying to eat? I am failing to see the joy in that? All those bits of food. Unless…ew…unless you want to eat out of the other person mouth. I don't doubt that many people would do that. I am hot. Damn hot. I look down the table and Lamm and she has just looked away, I can tell. She doesn't seem all that happy. Maybe it's because girls that aren't her are kissing me. If she wanted exclusive claim she would have to say something. Those things aren't assumed. Wait, she's leaving the Hall and Kemp is speaking to me.

"Dude, what's wrong with you? She was totally hot. Oh well, maybe I can pick her up. Anyways, where's Pierre?" Kemp asked, looking back at me after having trailed the chick.

"Oh, he needs to talk to you after dinner. He is having girl problems. He should be in the dorm," I told Kemp. "Hey, I'll come hang out with you guys tomorrow, okay? I need to get back to my room. I'm getting to a good part in my book." I smiled and Kemp just laughed, knowing of my book-wormy-ness. "Oh, and you might want to bring food up to Zeke, he won't be coming down, I don't think…" Kemp smiled and I left the Great Hall and ran to catch up with Lamm.

"Feeling alright?"

---:Jyllian:---

I looked at him. 'Feeling alright?' Haha – yeah, just brilliant. I turned a corner away from our dormitories, to see if he would notice anything peculiar. He just kept walking along with me. I don't even know why I was so upset. I mean, it's not like we're DATING or anything. Ugh, me? Dating Random? That sounds… interestingly appealing. But no! It's not going to happen. I'll have to get over these things. I come to the entrance of an empty classroom and see that he is STILL following me. I go into the classroom, say, "I'm fine," and close the door behind me. I simply do not need him around me right now.

---:Random:---

She shut the door on my face. Nobody does that. That is unheard of. They take me into the classroom with them and THEN close the door. The door is not supposed to be closed before I get a chance to enter to room. She is probably jealous because some chick kissed me. That has to be it. I turn the knob. Oh, good she isn't in front of the door. I open it and see that she is sitting on a desk in the classroom looking very unhappy. I smirk. She wants me. It's sad for her, but very true. Everybody wants me. I should probably find out why she is really sitting in her unhappily. Most people are happy to be in a classroom alone with me. This is bad. I close the door and lean against it.

"So, what's really bothering you, Jylli? I'm not going to go away until you tell me," I inform you. I have her pinned. She can't get out of this one. I'm an evil genius. Perhaps I should be put away because I could take over the world with my good looks and charm. Yes, that's it.

---:Jyllian:---

Does he EVER go away? Urgh much. Why does he have to stand in front of the door? That's just unfair. And why do we have to be in Hogwarts? I could easily Apparate out if Professor Dumbledore hadn't freaking put a stupid no-apparition charm on the school. I sighed.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I want to be alone. You can leave now," I said. That's what he needs to do. Leave. Go hang out with his cute little snogging partner. Surely she's missing him.

---:Random:---

She SAYS she's fine, but I can tell she isn't. Her eyes haven't left the floor. She's lying and she isn't very good at it. Her acting needs work. She can't pretend to be a whore and she can't lie. I could do both if I wanted to. Well…I wouldn't really be a whore, would I? That is unimportant because I could do that better than her even though she's actually a girl. That's saying something, I should think. Mostly because she can't act. That's all I'm saying. I cross my arms over my chest and put on an expectant face. She isn't going to get out of this by trying to make me go away.

"First of all, I don't believe you. Second of all, you are not getting out of this. And thirdly," I smirked, "does this have anything to do with that skank at dinner?" If she says yes…I may tell her about my thoughts while kissing the skanky one. Maybe I should inform her of this so she knows to tell the truth. "I'll tell you a secret if you answer truthfully."

---:Jyllian:---

Oh! A secret? I'm a sucker for secrets… I love knowing EVERYTHING. It's kind of an obsession…

"The skank at dinner? Didn't look like that was your opinion of her at the time!" I said slightly loudly, finally looking up at him. "Hey, Random, do you happen to have some bubble gum with you?" I asked him. What kind of question was that? Oh well. I do really want some bubble gum. Mmm… the pink kind. Did muggles invent that? I can never remember. Surely they couldn't have. I mean, it's too good of an invention. He looked at me weirdly. What? I only wanted some bubble gum! "It might have had something to do with the 'skank,'" I muttered under my breath. "But I still want bubble gum."

---:Random:---

Bubble gum? Why the hell would I have bubble gum? Wait, I do have bubble gum. It's the pink kind. I wonder if that's what she wants. I pull it out of my pants pocket and open the container. Walking towards her I offer and pull the package away right when she is about to grab it.

"Tell me yes or no. Does this sulking thing have to do with that girl?" I smirk at her as pouts from wanting the gum, or wanting me. "I'll tell you my secret and give you some bubble gum, okay?" I get closer to her, so she can't get away without telling me what I want.

---:Jyllian:---

"Yes! Okay, now give me the gum!" I snatch the gum from his hand and pop it in my mouth. Mmmm! I love bubble gum! So, he promised me a secret. What is it? Gah! "Spill, Mister."

I sat on the desk waiting patiently for his secret, chewing my bubble gum happily.

---:Random:---

Snatching bitch.

"I'm not telling you anything until you tell me yes or no about that chick at dinner," I told her, quirking my eyebrow.

---:Jyllian:---

Either this guy was very dense or very deaf. He's such a lame-o. I answered him. I said, 'Yes!' – did he not hear me? He's evil.

"I said YES! God, do you have a problem or something?" I was probably sounding more irritated than I actually was considering I didn't even want to answer it in the first place; now I have answered it twice. I glared at him. He's such a jackass. I think my nickname of The Mutant fits him perfectly, don't you agree? I chewed my bubble gum and blew a bubble. Hehe. I love bubble gum.

I popped the bubble (it made an extraordinarily loud noise). Well this is just super duper. He's staring at me again. I blew another big bubble, but didn't pop it. It covered pretty much my whole face. All I could see was this big pink thing in front of my face, and I could smell that bubble gum-y smell. I love that bubble gum-y smell. I don't know why. It disgusts some people (like Court). I just sat there, staring at the pink sticky-ness in front of my face. Woot woot. I love bubble gum.

---:Random:---

I sighed. Where did we find this girl for the Head? I poked her face and the bubble gum stuck to my finger. I pulled it away and the gum went with it. Her face was revealed and her gum was hanging off my finger. I stuck it in front of her mouth expecting she would use her mouth to dislodge the gum, but no. She reached up and took the gum and stuck it back into her mouth. I stepped closer and we were millimeters away. I leaned down so my lips were just grazing over her ear. She shivered. I wrapped one arm around her waist.

"The entire time I was kissing her, I was thinking about you," I took my free hand and rested it under chin, turning her face up. I moved closer and stopped right before my lips touched hers. "I don't know why, though. From experience you had never kissed anyone before you kissed me." I sniggered when she gasped. Jylli didn't think I'd be able to figure this out. Ha ha. I've got her under my foot like a BUG! I could squash her at any moment, but I don't think I want to. She is dying for me to just move that little bit closer. Who am I to deny a girl what she wants. Oh yeah, I'm me.

I turn and my robes billow behind me. I was not intending on this happening, but the over all effect was brilliant, I'm sure. Leaving the empty classroom, I return the Head's Rooms. I had gotten what I'd wanted. She was jealous. This is perfect.

---:Jyllian:---

I blew another bubble. It keeps me occupied. It's like talking. When you talk, you can't really think about anything except what you're talking about. It gets your mind off things. Blowing bubbles is the same way. Did he really have to touch my gum? I mean, what if I get sick? Crap, I'm gonna get sick. It's all his fault. His high diseased hands are contagious. This sucks.

Thinking of me, though? Hm… that's interesting. Bastardly, but interesting. He's so… ugh-ness. Yes, that is a word. But seriously, he's a tease. A stupid tease. Why do I even consider associating with him? Oh yeah, because of his "mother".

---:Random:---

My current book of choice: Man's Search for Meaning. This is my third time reading it. It's about a man who survived a concentration camp called Auschwitz during The Holocaust. It is very sad. I am enjoying it to its fullest extent. Very well written. It's written by a famous Jewish philosopher. You may wonder why I only read Muggle books, but they are so much different because muggles don't have magic. I am, by no means, obsessed with the non-magical, but it fun to read about the differences in our world. Almost like if someone were to get our world right and the muggle got to read about it. Fun for them, yes? I heard footsteps in the Common Room and I figure Lamm is home.

I open my door and she is sitting on the couch. When I am standing behind the couch I bend at the waist so I am hanging over the back of sofa and my face is close to hers. I smile in a friendly way. Jylli is shocked when I kiss her lightly on the nose and say in a girly voice, "Welcome home, honey. How was work?" I laugh as a look of shock mixed with shear confusion and disgust crosses her face. "I'm joking, Lamm. I'm not a girl." She glares. "Okay, okay, you're mad that I walked away, but I really was thinking about you while I was kissing that girl."

She glares harder, and I whisper into her ear, "You said that I looked like I was enjoying myself, right? Well, that's a good thing for you, right?" I hop over the back of the couch and stand in front of it instead. I pull her up with me. "I think I may just like you, Jylli." I lean in and turn her face towards mine, again. Our noses touched and I looked into her eyes. She was shivering from my closeness. I closed the space between our lips and she wrapped her arms around my neck when my hands went to her waist.

---:Jyllian:---

Kissing a sex god (Random) was weird. I mean, I've kissed him before, but not like this. We broke apart and I had to make sure I wasn't making any freaky facial expressions. I couldn't make him think I was weird, or inflate his ego any more. I just kind of looked at him. That was really weird. A few hours ago, we weren't even speaking. Even fewer hours ago, he was making out with some other chick. Oh my God, I can't believe I just said "chick". Whatever. I smiled at him and kissed him again.

---:Random:---

She kissed me again and I pulled away. Her face was kind of flushed. This was the most labor of this sort she had done…ever. I could tell. I smirked and released my hold on hips. "Well as nice as that was, I think I'm going to go read my book. I'll be in my room if you need me." I bent closer to her ear. "See you in the morning, Jylli." She shivered and I walked away, pulling my left finger across her stomach as I left. I entered my room and closed the door. Why did I do that? That was most definitely stupid. Maybe I ate something that wasn't good for me. That must be it.

I read for a few minutes then decided reading wasn't working, so I went to take a shower. The water running down my body was refreshing. All thoughts of what I had done washed away. I decided to just act like nothing had happened. It was what we call a momentary lapse in judgment.

---:Jyllian:---

That was intensely weird. Seriously, do people normally do that? Let's think about this for a moment: he kissed me, I kissed him, he pulled away, he reads book, he takes shower. There's something wrong with this isn't there? This is going to be awkward, I just know it.

---:Random:---

The next morning, Sunday, I walk into the Common Room and Lamm is out there. Great. I'm screwed. I was hoping to be able to avoid her for as long as possible. This may require me to explain my "temporary lapse of judgment" which isn't something I'm too keen on doing because I might be slapped. Or yelled at. I don't want either one of these things to occur. Being hit would hurt and being yelled at is just not right. Except for THAT, but I'm not thinking about that again because that is a bad thought, and therefore wrong to think. I have no idea when perversion entered my mind. Maybe it was the first time a girl showed that she liked me. With that perversion I noticed a large amount of egotism and arrogance. You have to understand that I know have I reason to be a pompous ass. I have a nice ass, by the way. God damn. I've done it again. I've gotten into a rant in my head about the wonder that is me when my impending doom faces me.

I attempted to walk past her, but didn't get to the door before she called out my name. Damn. I scrunched up my face and turned, putting on a smile. "Yes?"


	6. Temporary Lapse of Judgement

**Authors' Notes:** Again, this one took us awhile to get out. We kinda...stopped writing for a little bit, but it's back. Yup. Okay.

**Disclaimer:** We DO NOT own Harry Potter, okay? What are you trying to do? Make us cry!

* * *

**Olive Juice**

Chapter Six: _Temporary Lapse of Judgement_

---:Jyllian:---

Maybe I shouldn't have called out his name. I didn't think he'd actually pay any attention to me. I have nothing to say now. Nice going, Jyll. You are officially Public Idiot Number One.

"Um…Hi," I said. Hi. That's it. How EMBARASSING! I can't believe I just did that! Jyllian Lamm, you are a freak.

He just looked at me weirdly and kept walking through the portrait hole. So much for any hopes I'd had of him respecting me. Now he's just going to think I'm a ditz. I am a freakishly strange moron. I hate myself.

---:Random:---

I run to Gryffindor Tower, as soon as I can. I need to know if this is

normal. I can't believe myself sometimes. Maybe they can help me

decided if I should just cut off my source of testosterone right now.

That wouldn't be any fun, would it? No, I don't think that will ever

happen. I say the password and race up the stairs, banging (ooh,

banging. No stop now.) in to the seventh years boys' dorms. I wake up

the appropriate people with my loud door opening and then they follow

me out down the Common Room, where we will not be overheard. Zeke rubs

his eyes and yawns. Kemp just crosses his arms in exasperation. It

looks better when I do this because I am me, therefor everything I do

is good looking, but that isn't really the point...

"What do you want so early in the morning, you baboon?" Kemp asks,

stiffly before falling onto a near by sofa. I have never been called a

baboon by anyone but Kemp and sometimes Zeke, but he mostly says, "you

fool". It's a sign that they are frustrated with me, but still willing

to be my friend. I tell them the story of what has been happening in

the last few weeks and they listen intently, nodding as if

understanding. Zeke is the first to say something (if you'll notice

they are friends again, yay! Don't tell anyone I just said "yay"...).

"Well, with everything I have observed," he raises his eyebrows

referring to the train, "I think this is perfectly normal. Just go

with it. You kiss her, don't be a prick. If you ignore her that will

only make things worse and I'm really starting to sound like a girl

giving love advice right now, aren't I? Crap," he finishes, shaking

his head. We all laugh and then Kemp speaks up.

"Yeah, go with what Mr. Love Advice over here said. Act like nothing

happened, right Mr. L.A.? When did you get so good with this sort of

thing? I didn't already know who you liked I'd ask if there was something

you needed to tell us. Obviously, there might still be..." Kemp smirks

as Zeke pulls a face. I feel better and decide to go with their

advice.

I close my hands in front of my face and fake being emotional, "Thank

you guys so much for helping it. It means so much," I wail and fake

crying and we all laugh again, heading down to breakfast. Kemp and I

look at girls that we pass in the corridors, evaluating them. We only

see two or three that are worth kissing. Ew, look at that one. Ew.

---:Jyllian:---

I went to see Arielle and Court. Why did he just walk away? I mean, I know it was a stupid thing to call out his name and say "Hi" but he could've…I dunno. I just think it's a little weird how he didn't even bring up last night. I mean, it was a pretty big thing, if you know what I mean. He kissed me. I kissed him. Maybe he's ashamed. Maybe he just wants to forget about it all… Why would someone want to do that? First of all, he's a guy, so he should want to be proud of any action that he's getting (okay, note to self: never use those words in that order ever again), secondly, that's really hurtful to the girl (or guy, maybe, I dunno…) he's getting… well you know what I mean. It's pretty cruel all around. I officially don't understand males. They're so… infuriating.

Arielle and Court had MUCH to say about the matter. We must have talked for hours. If it hadn't been a weekend, we would've missed all of our classes. They just gabbed and gabbed while I sat there feeling sorry for myself. I realized how big of jerk he was, and how he had asked for a truce, and wanted to be friends again. Or maybe that's never what he wanted in the first place. Arielle pondered on the fact of whether he really wanted to settle things between us or if he just wanted to "get some" - her words, not mine. He's a pompous ass.

---:Random:---

I eat with my friends and then head outside to the lake. We sit by the lake and joke around, totally unaware of all the girls whispering about us. Eventually, we do become aware and there is so much whispering that we can't ignore it. I look up, and quirk my eyebrow at one near by. The girl blushes and looks away. I follow her gaze and my stomach jerks. Jyllian is walking around the lake with her friends. She looks over and our eyes lock. I turn my head away, not able to look anymore. This is not fun. I wish I hadn't kissed her. That was stupid. Oh look _her_. I elbow Kemp as a girl passes by and we both grin at her. She gives us a flirtatious look and Kemp follows her. I roll my eyes at Zeke and we laugh at Kemp's antics as he follows the girl.

"He's unbelievable," Zeke chuckles and shakes his head. "He's worse than you." Thanks Zeke, way to be. I make a face at him and his smirk widens. I sigh and fall back on the grass. Looking at the sky, I sigh again.

"I want to kiss her again, Zeke, but at the same time, I really don't. No one has ever made me feel like this. I am in serious shit," I grumble. Zeke just shrugs, telling me to deal with my own problem. I do want to kiss Jylli again. That isn't all I want to do with her, but I don't think she would be that open to my other idea. Not open, _at all_. I worry about myself, haha, that's funny. She isn't open to me, not in the way I want her to be, in the area I want her to be open in. I stand up and start to walk away. Jyllian is surprised to see me on her side of the lake once I reach it. Not able to contain myself, I pull her up and kiss her in front of the whole school. Many gasps erupt from various mouths, mostly girls, but I don't care.

"I need to talk to you, okay?" I mumble into her ear, she just nods, obviously too stunned to do anything else.

---:Jyllian:---

He kissed me. Again. At least he's not ignoring me. Well, maybe he is. I don't know if you'd call that "ignoring" or not. I don't. I think that when someone's face is on yours, it's not exactly giving you the cold shoulder, you know what I mean? So, I'm going to talk to him. I guess… He starts walking away and motions for me to follow him. I follow. I'm like a frickin' dog, but something about him makes my mind go to mush.

---:Random:---

When she catches up I take her hand and drag her into the castle. After entering the Head's Commons, I lead her to the couch. I smile and she smiles back. "So, I was wondering if you knew the best way to raise a Lucca plant." Her face falls and I can tell that she is saddened by what she has just been asked. She obviously wasn't expecting this exactly and I smirk.

Laughing, I speak again, "I'm joking, Jylli," I sit down next to her and wrap my around the back of the couch, effectively wrapping my arm around her shoulders, "I want to apologize for being a prick this morning. I shouldn't have ignored you. So, do you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

---:Jyllian:---

He wanted ME to go to Hogsmeade with him? I'm sorry, and I don't mean to be all "low self esteem" but I'm not exactly the prettiest, most popular girl in school, and I'm not sure he'd actually WANT to be seen with me.

"Sure," was all I said. Hm, what a GREAT answer, Jyllian. You are such a talented speaker. What do I do now? We've "talked" and now we're just kind of sitting here. I yawned. It's always later than I think it is. "And a Lucca plant doesn't like much light, but lots of water. I suggest a closet." I smiled. "And maybe a touch of Olive Juice."

---:Random:---

Damn, there she goes with that Olive Juice crap again. What the HELL does that mean? I lean in closer and inhale her scent. Apples. I smile. Her shampoo is magical. It works wonders. I have made a habit of using it and hoping that she doesn't notice. Taking a strand of her hair, I play with it between my fingers. "What does Olive Juice mean, Jylli? I think that maybe, since I haven't been a total arse today, I deserve to know." My fingers leave the ends of her hair and I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. Judging my the look on her face I answer my own question.

"You aren't going to tell me anytime soon, are you?" She shakes her head and I sigh. "Oh well, did you see the looks on the faces of those girls? That was priceless." I see the look in her eyes and reassure her, whispering into her ear as I lean closer, "That isn't why I kissed you, Jyllian. Don't worry, I really do want to go out with you. I know you think that you aren't worthy or whatever, but you are." I smile and rest my head on her shoulder. We talk for a long while after wards, into our dinner time when we finally realized we were hungry. I don't know what happened to my perversion. Maybe I should kick that back into gear...

"You aren't just hungry for dinner, are you, Jyll?" I ask, implying that she was hungry for me. I know she is, so why try to hide the fact? We walk down the corridors to the Great Hall.

---:Jyllian:---

You know, I THOUGHT someone was using my shampoo. And when he leaned close to me, I knew it was him. I mean, it's not like it could be anybody else, but you know… I thought maybe there was a hole in the bottle or something, but no, two people have been using it.

I love dinners at Hogwarts. The food here is so good! We ate quickly. Mostly because I was nervous as hell. I had never eaten with him before. Excluding when we went to the kitchens. I'd never eaten with him in front of other people. Not including house elves. Okay: I've never eaten with him in the Great Hall. That works. I'm just glad we weren't having pasta. I cannot eat pasta. It's like, a disability for me.

I don't talk because I'm afraid if I do, I'll say something stupid like, "When I was three, I used to swim naked in the pond behind our house," you know, like that.

---:Random:---

She is being suspiciously quiet. I think she is nervous. I would be too if I was receiving the looks of sheer venom she was receiving from half of the student body. The female half. They all want to be her because she is sitting next to me and eating the same foods as me and she would be carrying a conversation with me, but she isn't TALKING. Maybe she lost her vocal chords or something. Somehow I don't think that's what it is. These green beans are really tasty. The house-elves steamed them and that is just how I love my green beans. I take a bite and make a contented sound and Jyllian jumps. Easily spooked, isn't she? Picking up another green bean I offer it to her.

"Try this. It's really tasty. Oh, my god, are you afraid to eat it because it came from my fork? You know what? We've kissed, I don't think that you eating off my fork will be anymore exchange of saliva," I tell her matter-of-factly. She blushes and eat the green bean, smiling. I think she enjoys it. Mostly because she tells me she does. Kemp and Zeke come tromping into the hall and fall into the seats across from Jyllian and I. They are laughing really hard and with abandon. I've missed something.

"What did I miss?" They look at each other and start laughing menacingly. Oh god. What did they do? I quirk an eyebrow and they laugh even harder. Do I want to know what they did?

---:Jyllian:---

Random's friends are really weird. They come, sit down, and laugh their heads off about nothing. Well, I don't know if it's NOTHING, but it's probably something guy-like that I don't want to know about. I decide to leave them to their business.

"Um…you know what? I think I'm gonna go sit with Elle and Court, I'll see you later, Random. And…um…I'll see you guys tomorrow," I say to Kemp and Zeke. I go to sit with my best friends, keeping my eye on my loverboy. I didn't call him my loverboy. That was an illusion you just had. You might want to get that checked out. I don't think it's normal.

Arielle and Court seemed shocked by the whole fiasco. I don't know why. I mean, they knew I was like in love with the guy, and I get basically everything that I want….just kidding. Actually, I mostly never get what I want. This time it just worked out! Hehe. I didn't just giggle either. I'm telling you - illusions aren't a good thing.

"But…why you?" Court asked. "He's the Hogwarts SEX GOD, and he chose you… why?" Nice going, Court. Especially when I'm sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. She can be so… Ugh, I don't know. A bitch, yes, that's right. She has no tact.

I get up and go to the prefect's bathroom. I like that place. It's all marble-y.

---:Random:---

Apparently that's what the boy's prank was. They just HAD to do that to my bookshelf. I told them about the period book and apparently they went and filled it with a bunch of books about the reproductive process and hormones and what not. Believe me, I know plenty about ALL of these things. They are just gits, that's all. Why do I associate with them? Because they are my friends and practically brothers, that's why. They think they are so funny when, in truth, they are not. Well, actually, this is a pretty good prank, but still, can't they GET more immature? Yes, they can. I walk through the bathroom into Lamm's room. She is working on an essay and she appears to be rather focused. I think she needs a break. When I tap on her shoulder she jumps.

"I think you need a short break. Come on, I have to show you what Zeke and Kemp were laughing about at dinner tonight. Geniuses, really," I mumble this last part and we walk through the bathroom into my room. She begins laughing immediately as she sees my bookshelf is also in the shape of a man and a woman ready to get it on and the content of the shelves. When I nudge her and raise my eyebrows she blushes. Haha. "Great addition, don't you think? It really adds to the mood of the bedroom, don't you think?" Haha, I'd like to be in that position with Jyllian. She casts her eyes down.

---:Jyllian:---

If I had ever had any thoughts in my mind about Random changing from his perverted self, they FLEW out the window the minute he opened his mouth. He is such a guy, but that's why I love him. Haha. I shook my head and walked over to the bookshelf.

"Hm… this is quite a…er…collection. Where'd they get this junk, anyway?" I asked him turning to see his face. He had a really weird look on his face that I couldn't quite describe. He's a strange boy, he is. But he's very attractive. …Madame Pomfrey could probably fit you in you know. For your head illusions. She's very good at that sort of thing.

---:Random:---

I approach her and shake my head, not knowing. "It's quite the collection of crap, though. I am proud of them, but I don't really care to look at naked male body parts all day long." I don't mind staring at naked female body parts, but that is beside the point. I chance my wardrobe and my books back to their original state. I pick them up and examine the, making sure they are back to normal. They are. Sitting on my bed, I cock my head to the side and reach out for Jyllian. She avoids my grasp and walks back into her bedroom and locks both doors. Evil bitch. All I wanted was a hug and maybe a quick snog, but I think locking me out is a little harsh. I won't invade her privacy, however, and don't perform and unlocking spell. In my room and open a book and begin to read. The happenings of today have been very stressful, but I'm not entirely unhappy about them. A knock at my door tells me that Jyllian has arrived at my room and greet her with a smile.

---:Jyllian:---

I'm doing it again. You know that thing where I do stuff without my knowledge? For example, I had no intention of going back into his room. I just wanted to change into my pajamas and go to sleep, but NOOOOOO, I had to go knock on his door again. What exactly was I thinking when I did it? I don't know. Maybe I'm the one who should get my head examined. Oh well, I might as well use this time to my advantage.

"Hey, Random? I always wondered…what do you guys talk about when we're not around? I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is GIRLS, but like what about them? …and do you have any OTHER interests?" I sit down on his bed and look at him. Sexy man. Maybe we should make that appointment for two.

---:Random:---

She's wearing those pajamas again. I really like those pajamas, they really accentuate her body. That is a really nice thing in my eyes. Well, looking at her is nice, but beside the point. I lean closer and my face is desperately close to hers. I can almost feel her eyelids fluttering shut, thinking she is going to get a kiss. How wrong you are, dear Jyllian. I whisper, "Did you really come all the way in here, at night, just to ask me what guys talk about other than girls when girls aren't around? That seems a little silly to me, Jylli. Haha, Silly Jylli. How comical," I brush my lips against her cheek and go to my wardrobe and take out pajama bottoms. I change in front of her, making her comfortable. Hey, at least I still have my boxers on, she can't see anything, and my chest isn't unknown territory for her. She has seen it before. Once decked out in my pajama bottoms I climb into my bed.

"Go to bed, Jyll, unless you want to sleep in here with me," I smirk and lift the comforter next to me, inviting her in. She blushes deeply and I laugh.

---:Jyllian:---

He never answers my questions. Like…ever. But oh well. He's quite a perverted one, too. I have an older brother you know, Jake. He was never THIS perverted. Sure, he cracked a dirty joke every once in a while, but…oh, maybe he did. I never really cared considering he's my brother.

"You know what, I think I'll take a rain check," I say to him. When I get back to the familiar room that I call my own, I got into my bed and turned off the light. Life with Random Halid was anything but normal.

---:Random:---

I woke up the next morning and stayed in bed for several minutes. Yuck. Monday. I hate Mondays. Isn't there a muggle song about not liking Mondays? I'm not sure, but I know that I don't like them. The are the butt hole of the week. Excuse the following disgustingness. Everyone loves stuffing themselves and enjoying the time they spend doing so (the weekends) then they have to go to the bathroom and are stuck in there for a long time shitting out all they ate (Mondays) and then they feel better afterwards (the rest of the week). Isn't that just the most truthful thing you've heard all day? Just like Saturdays are the best days. No work that day or the next. It's a great day. Finally, I get out of bed and shuffle into the bathroom. Jyllian is in there brushing her teeth. She smiles through the toothpaste suds surrounding her mouth. How is it possible for her to be attractive with toothpaste around her mouth? Well she is. I began to brush my own very pearly whites as she spits. Now she's brushing her hair. I spit and wrap my arm around her waist. Again, she ignores me keeps brushing her hair. I steal her brush and comb through my hair then hand it back. Jyll looks scandalized and smile then go into my room and dress for school.

A few minutes Lamm emerges from her room and mumbles something about her comb. I just smile because I really don't care what crap she has to say about her brush. I'm using her shampoo, how is using her brush so much different? Oh yeah, it isn't. When I tell her this, she glares at me and stalks off. I catch up with her and we walk to breakfast.

---:Jyllian:---

Breakfast was good, and the rest of the day was, too. Just a regular school day, nothing exciting happened. Dinner was delicious, as usual, and the prefect meeting was a bore. What else is there to say? I was reading in the common room when Random came in with a few of his buddies. This was the first time he'd taken them in here. Arielle and Court had yet to see my living quarters. His friends glanced in my directions, he blew me a kiss, and they continued to Random's room. They looked like part of the army. Walking in a straight line (I didn't know they knew what "straight" meant…oh, haha, that has more than one meaning!), carrying their books. I laughed quietly at the thought of those three boys defending our country, and went back to reading. I could hear faint laughing from inside the room, but decided to not be nosy.

When I finished my book (I was at the end anyway), I started on my homework. Soon, the faint laughing grew into cackling and it made it VERY hard to concentrate. I tried to keep my cool and ignore it, but it was too loud. I marched right up to the door (in almost the same way they had done it a few hours before) and knocked on the door.

Kemp opened it and said, "Oh, come to join the fun, Jyllian?"

---:Random:---

I look on in amusement as Jyllian mouth begins to twitch with irritation. Her nose is flaring. Jylli shoots me a look of pure venom when I let out a laugh. In response I just smirk and get out of my chair. I push her out the door and we are alone in the Common Room once I close the door to my room. Her nose is still flared, but the lips twitching has changed to eye twitching. Jyllian looks possessed so I feel the need to stop this useless eye twitching. How do I go about that? I know.

"Stop that. Your eye is twitching and it's creepy. You look possessed. I don't want to go out with someone who is possessed," I tell her and the twitching stops, probably to be replaces my shock that I just said that. It wasn't nice, but I don't care. I smile and cross my arms over my chest. "What seems to be the problem, Jylli? Are we being too loud? If that's it, I'll try to keep it at a low roar, okay?" I can tell that I've hit the nail on the head. She unhappy about the nose level, so I reassure that we will try to be quieter and go back to working on my homework.

---:Jyllian:---

The next few days of the week were BORING with a capital…everything. It was just one of those weeks where you're like, "Ugh, I hate school." I was looking forward to the weekend that I got to spend with Random. We talked a few times at breakfast or in between classes, but never anything big. The professors were trying to load on as much homework as possible before the Christmas holidays. They always do that - "Just one more essay," or "Come on, just read 239487239874 more chapters!" -- GIR. But anyway, Hogsmeade today. Arielle and Court helped me get ready (I had to look superb). Arielle let me borrow her shirt and I wore my jeans. I don't know why I own jeans. They're a muggle clothing. My parent's aren't very pro-muggle, if you know what I mean… I don't think they even know I own them - the jeans, I mean. When it was finally time to go, my heart was beating like a hippo. Hippos don't beat, but you know what I mean. Arielle and Court were still excited at the fact that I let them into the Head Common Room, so they were goggling at the "noodle-ceilings" (as Court called them) while I waited for Random to come out. I just sat on the couch, eating my fingers.

---:Random:---

I walk out of my room and Jyllian's friends are running around the room poking at things. She is sitting on the couch, looking nervous as hell. I would be nervous too if I had a date with me. Being alone with me for that long must be a dream come true for her. Jyllian looks nice though. Her hair is done up and her clothes look nice on her. Hehe…I am mentally slapping myself right now… Haha…slapping…I'm so bad. Walking over to the couch I grab her hand and pull her up.

"You look nice, have you been waiting long?" I ask, wrapping an arm around her thin waist. She blushes, I think because her friends are watching intently at our interaction. Why is she so easily embarrassed? That must be a girl thing. Guys don't tend to care if people see them with the person they like. Like now, I could care less that her friends are here. Really though, they should close their mouths…

---:Jyllian:---

"Only a few minutes," I lie. I've actually been waiting for this for like… what? Two months? Something like that. We walk out of the portrait hole and make our way to Hogsmeade. The Heads Common Room is closer to everything than Gryffindor Tower is. It's quite amusing, actually. All my friends have to walk like 934239847 miles to get to breakfast, while Random and I have to take like four steps. I'm exaggerating of course, but hey - whatever.

"So what do you want to do when we get there?" I asked him. Let's see, well he's a guy, so he'll most likely want to go into the Quidditch shop at least twice, then to Weasley Wizard Wheezes… that's always fun. I do adore their pigmy puffs.

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**Authors' Notes:** Blah. Please review! x3 


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